Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I picked the children up today for my fortnightly visit, i received an email to let me know she will be at the nail shop around the corner. I pulled up outside and the children come bounding to the car followed by the mother!. Turns out the middle one at 8 year old has wished for his nails to be painted. This is the girliest of all pinks........ May i add that he is always center of attention and mum loves to use his antics as a good gossip, Im totally honest i am not amused!! I felt myself nearly rising but i made a comment of how it was being removed to which she replied you can't its "Gels".
Why did i let myself get worked up?
Why do i feel its just one way of her getting at me! (It had just been done not long before i picked them up, not like mum can play dress up..)
Obviously we have diffrent views, she seems to think its fine while im a mans man and think its wrong and probably confusing for him.
I did send an email to explain that i fathered 3 boys and if she wishes to play mummies little girl then to do it when he is with her!. I hit a brick wall with that one so now i need to rethink my way of thinking i guess??. :unsure:
...I think you hit the nail on the head....it's probably her way of getting at you.
I can understand, being a mans man, that this sort of gender blending would grate on you but I think the more you make of it the more she will do it. If you don't rise to it then you remove the possible reason for her doing it in the first place.
He's only 8 and I'm pretty sure that as he gets older he won't be a s ready to play along with his mums behaviour.
I had a feeling i would be in for a rocky ride over the holiday periods as this is when i would be seeing her in person. During school terms i collect and return to school and it is pretty plain sailing.
I think she knows it is slowing grinding my gears with every other little thing that comes my way. I' am finding it very difficult to collect the kids from school every other week due to work. She is slowly making it awkward for my partner to pick them up and she isnt willing to change the day unless it goes back through court.
Is there expenses with going back to court to do this?. I already explained that if i need to go back through the courts then i will be pushing for 50/50 that way i can arrange work around a permanent situation.
You would need to attend mediation before making an application to vary contact, this is now compulsory.
How long ago did you get the contact order?
If you self represent then the court fee is £215, there are plenty here that have chosen to self rep and we can help you with that. You may be entitled to a fee exemption depending on your income. You would need form EX160a to apply for this.
Once you have attended mediation and she either refuses to attend or you can't reach agreement, the mediator will sign off the C100 form which you would then submit to court.
The court order has been in force since beginning of the year so fairley recent. There was a note on the order saying the case is still active and can be returned to court, However i don't know if there was a time limit on that. Mediation failed me miserably the first time round, i won't hold up much hope there. :huh:
Well it might be worth giving the court a call and asking if you could return to court under the existing case.
...I think you hit the nail on the head....it's probably her way of getting at you.
Sorry not a funny situation, but Mojo's comment did make me smile!!
I do agree with both Mojo and NJ though she is probably trying to rattle you, and at 8 your son won't be bothered by the issues of having pink nails, he will just be trying to be like either one of you, you would probably find he goes back to her after a visit with you imitating your traits too.
I feel for you as your in a tough place with an ex who is clearly try to push your buttons , the least you react the less satisfaction she will get.
I mirror the view also of calling the courts to discuss options on varying the order, even if it to ensure that it is written into the order that your partner is to carry out the school runs when you are unable to due to work commitments.
GTTS
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.