Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Who are the best people to talk to about handling a break/divorce, not so much the legal side, more from just someone to talk to?
Things like, am I doing the right thing, how to respond to things she says, how best to talk to the kids, how conciliatory to be, how firm to be, etc. Would it be someone like Relate, so they see people on their own, or is there another organisation more suitable?
It is a very sad situation, and although I'm the one doing the petitioning, I'm also the one that caused most/all the problems initially. However, I cannot handle being punished for it every day, and have had to leave and after a year of stalemate, am following her taunts that I should go ahead.
Anyway, I don't know who best to talk to about it, whether I'm doing the right thing or being pig-headed, or trying to have my cake and eat it, or should be taking anything she throws at me in order to keep the marriage together for the kids, and how firm I need to be, how much financial help I should be giving her (particularly in light of the money she lost when the house was repossessed through my debts), how to keep things as calm and civil as possible for the kids, etc, etc.
The solicitor is just focused on the legal side, my family will be biased, particularly as my wife has been emailing them demanding money because I cannot pay, and I don't have any friends that have been through this.
But, I don't know where to go to talk these things over without it costing a lot of money each week (Relate £35-50/wk) which I cannot really afford and she will want for spending on food/kids etc.
We've tried relate and mediation together in the past, but they didnt last long because she just viewed them as a third party to rubber-stamp her opinion and got upset when they tried to listen to what I had to say.
Relate is a good organisation for this - you don't have to see them together as you have done, and they will also help with coping strategies.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.