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My partners ex got married three year's ago and during his wedding party myself, my partner and our daughter were there. During the evening her ex's mum and aunty came up chatting to me then a bit out of the blue asked if they could come visit my daughter and ex in my hometown? I agreed and thought nothing of it until the next day and since then 3 years ago it has been playing on my mind. I can't help thinking "what if she isn't my daughter but his and that's why his mum and aunty wanted to visit her. In fact I believe his mother did come to visit her and my daughter when she was near by? am i just being paranoid or should I as I KNOW IT WILL PUT MY MIND AT REST ASK HER AND SUGGEST A PATERNITY TEST? Help me with advice please.
It's a difficult situation, if you open up to her about it it could cause friction, you have a right to know and without that it will very likely continue to eat away at you. If she is yours then it may destroy the trust in your relationship...I'm sure these are the issues that have been on your mind...
Are you worried about her reaction? Can you talk easily about things?
Are you named on the birth certificate?
You could I suppose do it without your partners knowledge, but if your fears were realised then you would need to confront her about it....as I said its a can of worms.
Would it make any difference to the way you feel about your daughter?
It might as for all intent and purposes we would both have been living a lie. Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship, if "my" daughter was his then she would have been conceived during my relationship with my partner, this is unacceptable. I want to believe she is mine but have had doubts before her ex's wedding. In a photo she looked like him not me? this could mean nothing as children including my brothers can look very different from one another and their parents. Recently a friend of his put a photo of him and his brother as children. this reignited my concerns as his hair is very like my daughters curly blond hair. Mine was straight.
...well perhaps doing it without her knowledge might be the best way, then at least if she is yours there's no harm done and your mind will be put at rest.
what i thought to do but these paternity test sites imply that without both parent samples i.e. mine and my partner plus daughter they may noy be able to be 99.99% sure and so it is then a percentage probability..they are making money out of others anguish as well as providing a service.
...toothbrushes would have DNA and hair from a hairbrush too I think...but I no expert!
...toothbrushes would have DNA and hair from a hairbrush too I think...but I no expert!
They do, but they are easily contaminated with other DNA, so I wouldn't rely on it either way.
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