[Solved] Non Molestation / Prohibited Steps order

Thanks for this mojo.

With the limited resources I have I’m using a direct access barrister. I’ll do all the leg work myself and get the barrister the help formulate it and advise.

My best hope is that with his assistance, I can get this thrown out at the first hearing.

Good idea having a barrister.

Will you be getting them to write the statement for you?

It might be worth asking them what they will charge to tweak / re write the statement you are preparing so far?

Responding in parallel numerically is the best way and reference the evidence you will attach to the back.

Hopefully if your evidence is strong enough, the judge might encourage the mother to drop the application. If she refuses, you may have the options of undertakings or it could end with a fact finding hearing.

Your barrister will be able to guide you on the day with the benefit of seeing all the evidence.

Best of luck

I've basically done all the legwork. Written responses to everything she has alleged, been as open and honest as possible (perhaps too much) and sent all the info to the barrister today.

He will (I imagine) look at the case files from both sides, the evidence I've supplied, give me his opinion on any likely outcomes and help me formulate what I've written.

It's expensive, £720 for essentially 3 hours but if I'm going to get into debt for anything, then it will be this.

I'm not in the best of states unfortunately. The mental exhaustion from this as well as the pain from having no contact with my 3 kids other than synthetic once a week supervised contact is really getting me down.

Feel in a constant state of panic as the rest of my life is a complete unknown at the moment.

Now I've sent this stuff off I'm kind of in a limbo until the meeting with him on Thursday.

Don't really know what to do with myself now after all the work on this in the last few days but I'm bashing on.

These orders are horrendous. I understand why they are necessary but for my children, beyond me, to be put in a position like this whereby there could be weeks if not month of degradation of our relationship seems so unfair.

There should be an immediate turnaround and clear guidelines in place for people who are served with these without notice orders.

Fumbling around in the wilderness without any legal assistance in this is really damaging for mental health.

Which is likely my wife's intention.

I can absolutely understand where your coming from, it’s important that you stay focused, but equally important that you have some time out from it too... it might be a good idea to put it to one side until Thursday, and then you can look at it with the barrister, with fresh eyes.

All the best to you and do please keep us updated.

I agree with Mojo.

If you can put it to one side and try to distract yourself a bit before the hearing, it will help you enormously.

Wishing you all the best.

Had my meeting with the barrister on Thursday.

I paid £720 to essentially find out I completely screwed.

Despite the return date having to be within 14 days (in all cases), I was advised that this is rarely the case and that if the hearing date has been set for two months, then it s likely the 1st available date and not an error.

He explained that I am not only being screwed by my wife, but the system in general as time is the greatest factor in my struggle.

2 months will pass prior to the hearing and on the basis of the sweary texts, the vast number of non evidenced allegations and the limited time the Judge/Majistrates will have to review and compare my statement, he has never 30 years of courtroom practice seen a Non Mol been dismissed at the 1st hearing unless the applicant fails to show. From there the best I can hope for is if I contest, it'll be likely 4-6 months before the hearing,

I have no representation and will get hammered in court, if I take undertakings then because of the 3 ridiculous claims of emotional abuse toward my children, I still have the children's act proceedings which will take months to investigate.

If I contest and lose, I have to pay her legal fees, I cannot effort to even pay for legal advice far less court costs.

All in all, even if I was to win this, it'll be 8 months to a year where the status quo in terms of childcare has changed and the children will remain where they are, effecting any chance of a reasonable divorce settlement/child maintenance essentially resulting in the children losing their father as I cannot afford to live in this area (long story there).

I simply cannot believe I am going to lose my children because of some sweary texts and a number of he said/she saids.

... it may well be that the barrister is giving you worse case scenarios. It can often be the case that expectations need to be brought in line with the worse that can happen, but on the day it doesn’t turn out as bad.

I find it strange that in 30 years he has never seen a NMO dismissed, we’ve certainly seen that here, granted not often, but it does happen, we had a member just recently get his NMO dismissed, but admittedly, not at the first hearing. I seem to remember he self repped,

No one can predict what will happen, not even a barrister!

Children are resilient, much more than we give them credit for...You have an unbreakable bond with them... your circumstances will change, they and you will have to adjust, but you can do it, the alternative is not to have them in your life, is that an option? I don’t think so somehow.

Things will seem pretty dark at the moment, but with patience, jumping through some uncomfortable hoops and time, the situation will improve.

On a separate note, I have supervised contact with my children twice e a week (which I am aware is more than some dad's are getting), but could someone explain a couple of things regarding my rights to access my children?

Neither the Non Mol, nor Prohibited Steps orders makes any mention regarding any limitations regarding contacting my children, nor makes any stipulations on how much, when, and in what form this contact takes place.

They only state I cannot remove them from their mother's care.

Have I essentially lost all parental rights/responsibilities as a result of these orders even those they don't stipulate any of the matters above?

Hi

You have parental responsibility for your children and that gives you the right to make decisions about their care and upbringing.

If the mother is only agreeing to a contact centre for now, take it. Unless she agrees otherwise, only a court can force her in to a different arrangement.

You're not in a strong position at the moment and some contact is much better for the children than no contact.

It is in contact centres and the sterile nature of the contact in terms of the children and their reaction to it is almost making me reconsider contact at all. It is absolutely essential I remain in contact with them though, from mine and my children's perspective. Also from the perspective of the court.

Thanks for your advice so far guys. You've been really helpful.

if I could ask yet another question, in regards to my response to her witness statement, when referring to an allegation she has made, in terms of the phrasing:

"This allegation is complete fabrication and there is no evidence to support it"

I'm wary of how I phrase things, I don't want to irk the judge in anyway.

It may seem like a silly question, but do you see any issue with responding using that particular phrasing?

It is up to you how you phrase things as you are representing yourself, but possibly better to give your version of events in your response than making such a strong one sentence point. It's up to the court to decide if there's evidence. Not you. Don't rile the judges up, it's not worth it.

I understand a contact centre isn't ideal but if you don't stick with that and there's a break in contact, it's the type of contact a court is likely to order when re-establishing.

Best of luck

There's only two or three allegations that are completely made up and bear no resemblance to an event that occurred, the other 37 are based on events that did happen, she has just fabricated the context, comments or otherwise added' I felt threatened by this" at the end of each paragraph.

Wherever I've said "This allegation is complete fabrication and there is no evidence to support it, I've continued with the context or my version of events, as you suggest,, it is a bit direct to leave it in isolation.

In terms of structure, :
`Cover page (in the family court etc) leading straight into:

Background

Her motivations for the applications

Response to her allegations (number by number)

My evidence (text messages/GP letters etc)

A categorised dated breakdown of the 55 pages of text messages (with a brief explanation of context on each one)

Does the order of thie statement seem ok?