[Solved] Need some advice. Complicated situation!

Hi Scott and welcome

I think if you can move to be nearer your son and it will mean that you can spend more time with him then it could be a good idea. The downside is of course that you wont have a family/friends support network and you could feel isolated.

I would try and make sure that if you move you will be given plenty of access...there would be little point otherwise. If you have an amicable relationship with the mother that would help a lot!

There have been a couple of members in the past that have relocated only to find that the mother just moved further away again...not that I'm saying this would happen to you, as I say a lot rests on how well you get on with your ex.

I'm going to move this post into the families section in the main body of the forum as it should get more attention there.

Hi Scott I agree,

If you can move then it would be a good thing to do, you will have less travel time to see your son, Just make sure that you look into the area you are moving too and see if there are any groups you can join that will get you out, look at anything from volenteering to social clubs, even if the people you meet are older or younger than you they will be friends and you will then be able to build on that so you don't become isolated.

On another note, if you have moved to be nearer your child and things did go sour between you and your ex and you ended up in court (again as Mojo, I'm not suggesting this will happen but what if's are always there) any judge should look favourably at your relocation in the first place.

GTTS

I agree with the advice given - the only question I would have is, are you absolutely sure your ex is going to stay where she is? - it would be a real [censored] if you moved down, only to find that she was having problems and decided she didn't want to stay in Northampton.

Hi All,

I don't really know where to post this and I don't want to bore everyone with the full details of the situation but here are the bones:

My ex has moved to Northamptonshire with my young son. I live 120 miles North and have concluded to move down and start a new life in their locality. My friends and family think I should stay here, or at least for the moment until my life improves as I'm still very cut up about the split (2 years), but more so about being separated from my son!!

I don't really have a good enough job to stay here but finding a decent job down there is seeming difficult at the moment.

For other convoluted reasons, I've got 6-8 weeks to decide whether to move or stay; find a property and a job in the area, and relocate. I don't know anyone in this new area, and, being honest, I'm a little scared by the uncertainty of the situation but I love my son so much I'd give anything up for him.

I'm sure other dads have had similar experiences. It would just be good to get some other input from others without a vested interest in where I should reside.

Thanks in anticipation of any replies and I hope this is posted in the current section.

Scott

Get your head straight. Go there with the intention of being a Dad and not with some idea of getting back with your ex. Not only will this improve your relationship with your son, it will improve your relationship with your ex too probably. If you have a [censored] job where you are then sod it, quit, move south and start over. Drive a delivery van or start in a big company at the bottom. It doesn't rally matter what you do, but as I said, get your head in the right place before you do anything. Online dating springs to mind. You don't need to get into anything serious but there's nothing like going on a load of dates to remind you that there's more to life than longing for your ex.

Your son will appreciate it.

Thanks everyone for the replies! There's some good advice in there and it was good to hear everyone saying the same thing! Get down there!!

My head is fairly sorted and believe it or not, I actually have an OK relationship with my ex, although we're going through the courts. I've nothing against his mother at all - She's an excellent mother when all's said and done and I have no bitterness in me at all.

The dating thing is something I've thought about but I don't seem to be really that interested in seeing anyone until I get things sorted out. Maybe that will change when I move but I haven't wanted to get involved with anyone from my current area because of the further complication this will add to me relocating.

I'm now looking for work down there and am already in talks with a landlord about an ideal property at the right price, so fingers crossed, that will come off. I'm going to look in to some local groups down there but I'm a little apprehensive for some unknown reason - It's not as if I'm shy or anything - Just feel a little sheepish about it!

Anyway, thanks for the advice. This is the first time I've asked for any and I felt a bit lost about what exactly to do not to mention being very low at the moment but that all revolves around being in my sons life. So the advise was what I needed to hear!! I'm now doing everything I can to get down there knowing I'm doing the right thing.

Thanks all

Scott

P.S. I'll update when I get somewhere with the move but if anyone has any advice on what types of groups that are out there, I'd appreciate it!