[Solved] My world is falling apart

I've started weight lifting and I was to paranoid to go to a gym and i was a right skinny rake, go and buy some dumbells and barbells and do it at home, I can't believe the difference in a month I've filled right out and got loads more confidence, everyone has mentioned how much better i look and how much bigger i am haha!

Argos have a sale on at the mo and you can pick up a bar bell and dumbell set for £30 🙂

...I bet you'd surprise yourself if you tried a session at the gym! It would help with your insomnia too, and your appetite....not to mention a six pack if you stick at it!

What better way to fight back against her manipulation and control than to get back on track and looking good!

You know you can send any of us a private message if there are things you want to keep off the public side of the forum.

You might not feel it but like Slim I definitely think you sound a little more upbeat. It really does help to share...x

I'm trying for a 6 pack but all i've managed is half a can of flat skol! haha! Nj's right it doesnt half help with sleeping 🙂

Hey Slim nice to hear from you

I have started to write everyday feelings down so that he can read them when he is older,a member on here has been giving me such great advice like yourselves and that is something I am doing,also I am writing things down in a private document to my ex,its just a document I can write in to express my feelings etc when I feel angry,it does help a bit getting my feelings out but will never send it to her as I know that would be a stupid thing to do.

Makes me sick also knowing he is more apart of my sons life than I am,god knows what my ex is telling my son even though I know he is yet still young to know,i keep thinking that maybe she is saying this is 'daddy' when he is there,she might not be though but its what I am thinking.

Wish I had your social life slim,i just need to force myself to get out etc but have very few friends etc,the ones I have are with girlfriends so have their own life to live and don't understand the pain I am going through etc. Glad you have had a good few days though apart from your feet.

I try and keep telling myself that I am not alone but sometimes it just feels as though I am even though I have all if you to talk to,i guess the feeling comes from shutting myself off from everyone which is what has happened,i have no motivation to go out etc etc,become stuck in a rut and just sit in the house or go out for walks with my ipod on.

I will talk to my mate about joining the Gym again,he has a punch bag aswell outside so that could help with getting some anger out.

Also like to say I have tonight tried to give out advice to a couple of members and to be honest it has felt good knowing that maybe my advice may of helped them out a tiny bit,i am certainly no expert though

Haha Slim that has made me laugh which is rare the last few months.

Nannyjane that's what I keep thinking is to make myself look good and feel great about myself again,i loved going to the gym a few years ago even though my diet didn't coincide with the gym,im not overweight but stocky and tall plus a lot of tattoos aswell but I did use to feel good after a session,beginning to think that's what I need but I don't think the six pack will come NJ.

And thank you NJ about the Private Message offer,means a lot x

As I said I have been speaking to a member privately and he has been such an amazing help and support just like yourselves aswell,i am so glad that I posted on here last week

Hi mate,

Good to see your trying to help others, it feel good doesn't it?

and I agree with NJ (as usual) getting down the gym will help you lots, you will feel better about yourself, you will feel more actice as well as helping you to sleep.

GTTS

hey lewy hows things?

Hey Slim

Been a tough few days mate but today is one of my better days,went to see my mum the other day and saw some pictures of my little boy which the ex had sent,was absolutely heart breaking so been very emotional,still cant get my little man out my mind and constantly got stuff going round my head,feels like I am going to drive myself mad.

How are things with you?

Hey mate,

I feel pretty much the same it's so frustrating my girls live less than a mile away and I can't even see them it's soul destroying, I'm good friends with my ex's sister so she comes round regular and keeps me updated on the girls, she even logs on to my ex's face book and downloads all the pictures of the girls for me.

Even though I love seeing the pictures it breaks my heart too. I've been on a right downer since receiving the court papers from the directions hearing, I've completely lost interest in work again and was dying to finish this week, I've also been exhausted and tired all the time and my [censored] feet and legs are killing me!

I think things have caught up with me with all the stress of court, missing my girls and last weeks mad 4 day djing fest, I've still been eating like a horse and weight training everyday so taking good care of myself, went out for food and beer with my mate last night but been miserable as sin all day today.

On the plus side I've got all my paperwork done today sent my doctors letter to the courts cafcass and my ex proving that I went to then for help giving up the weed as requested by the courts, the nurse is coming to take a sample of hair for the drugs test next week so im slowly moving things forward.

To be honest I think im up and down from giving up the cannabis I think it's going to take longer to get it all out my system as I was smoking it every day for 20 years but it feels good that ive used this time wisely whilst I've been apart from the girls to give up.

This is the first year I've not been abroad djing too so that pi**ing me off I'm usually planning my next tour, the past 5 years have been amazing I've played in poland twice, 3 x in cyprus, 3 x on the costa del sol and 4 x in america but ive only been visiting the states in the past 2 years I can't get enough of the place it's so cool and I've got some real cool stuff going on over there.
It's a [censored] that I can't plan anything whilst this court case is going on but my girls are more important.

I'm starting to get into music production now to keep me busy and to try and keep my mind off things.

Keep going mate and try not to get to down you have to get yourself sorted to fight for your son it's the hardest thing ever but you have no choice like me mate, life's a [censored] then you get one pregnant lol 🙂

Ok mate I am new on here and I dont know where to start but I was in the same position bout 2 years ago.. I was arrested blamed of being a rapist and attempted murder....I swear to god none was true and it all fell apart. My son was taken away at a young age for 104 days... I am not scared to admit I felt like there was nothing i could do and if it wasn't for my family certainly I would have thought about taking my own life as well....but then I realised something

MY ROLE AS A FATHER IS TO BE THERE WHEN NEEDED...THEREFORE TAKING MY LIFE IS NOT AN OPTION ITS A FOOLISH THING AND PRETTY SELFISH

I LOVE MY SON...IF THE ONLY WAS IS TO SWEET TALK AND SWALLOW MY PRIDE TICK THE BOXES AND JUMP THE HOOPS THEN I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO BE A GOOD FATHER

AND FINALLY WHAT IS THE BEST YOU ARE ABLE TO DO FOR YOUR CHILD...For example he is only 19 months are you able to look after him properly even if you had contact.

One last thing I just noticed...it is so great your family has contact, put your tail between your legs and show them you changed and you want to be there for them... its hard I know mate but trust me no one will chuck it back in your face if you say you accept mistakes and are ready to move forward...this message will also get through to your ex I am sure and you will be part of your childs life. The other man is not a problem, your love is unchangeable trust me on this so dont even worry about it

No one has the right to pass judgement on you at any time. No person should have to take and be subjected to a relationship where what happens between man and woman will have a negative on the mental and emotional state of a child or children. I did the same in april 2011 after my wife asked me to leave the family home, as she did not love me or want to be with me anymore. i had no choice as she said she would call the police to have me removed. i did the honest thing for what was best for my kids at the time. Stand tall and be strong think of getting your own life balanced and settled before taking on so much when things may still be a little raw foryou. shame you weren't in the northeast as i would be able to meet up and have a chat to support you, thats the kind of person I am

as it happens lewy lives round the corner from me so we're going to meet up for a chat this weekend 🙂

I have family in monkey hanger land Harry so i'll drop you a message when im next up visiting 🙂