Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I am well aware that my ex is an amazing mother. Not only does she bring up 4 children (3 of which are under 3 and under) on her own, but she also manages a successful part-time business and manages to produce and direct two youth musical theatre shows a year with upto 100 kids at a time!
I on the other hand am in part-time work, about to apply for bankruptcy and see my children 4 times a week for a few hours at time, mostly in the evening so the ex can attend a couple of fitness classes. On the other hand, I am also part-time self employed and am going to uni in September, so things are on the up!
Today I had the kids for the whole day on my own, which hasn't happened for a while so it was a bit of a challenge. That said we got through it without any major issues and I enjoyed spending some decent time with them. However as I don't it very often, it was fair to say by late afternoon I was starting to struggle. So when I saw a mutual friend (albiet more the ex's friend than mine) I told her that I was looking forward to a glass of wine or two when I got home. She replied how it was very unfair it was as the ex couldn't have a drink as she has the kids to deal with at night. It felt like that she was saying I should never drink all the while the ex couldn't!
I'm sorry but I'm not going to be made to feel guilty that my life is different from my ex's. That's the way it is. I do everything I can to make my ex's life that bit more berable, but there's no getting away from the fact that as she is the main carer and I'm not, our lives will ultimately be different. She's an amazing mum but it doesn't mean I'm not a good dad, I'm constantly reminded by people how inadequate I am compared to her. Just wish people would go and do one sometimes and let me get on with being the best dad I can.
Rant over. Now where's that wine?
Hi and welcome
It's one of those things that some people seem to take to parenthood as if they've been training for it for their while life and some don't (I'm definitely in the latter) but as long as you do your best and show the children that they are very important to you, I wouldn't worry what everyone else says.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.