Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi I’m wondering if anyone can help me
Me and my ex partner have two children together which she doesn’t let me see anymore and if I have to it includes me being locked in her flat with her and her parents shouting in my face and not letting me out which I hate to say is not an option as this has affected my mental health massively.
My ex partners reasons for not letting me see the children is because of my new partner (me and my new partner live together and share a daughter together). Her first reason was she wanted it to be a gradual thing to meet my new partner and our daughter which I completely understood but then new excuses were because of my partners mental health (which is nothing to do with anything as yes my partner does suffer with mental health but there is no problems she keeps herself really well and is an amazing mother to our daughter).
Another excuse is she brings up our oldest daughters behaviour as we did a trial run of us all meeting but I guess my ex didn’t like it and Is bringing up our oldest behaviour. Her behaviour has been the way it is for a very long time. Me and my new partner took the kids to the park, fed the ducks, took them to soft play and they seemed happy.
She is now saying I can have the kids twice a week but it has to be at my mums and we’ll see how “the oldest behaviour” after 4 weeks and if not it will be ongoing at my mums. I’m sorry but why should I do what she tells me under her rules? I’m there dad and I should be able to do what I want to do with them and that includes bringing them to my own home with my family. My ex kicked me out a few years ago when our second daughter was 3 months old and moved her new partner in who was homeless and suffers with ADHD and I had no problems with that.
I have been through mediation but as she could not afford it so we couldn’t proceed further. My ex also thought mediation was a joke.The mediator has told me because I have “parential responsibility” I am able to do what I like with them”(obviously within reason).
I pay through the CMS for them.
It just seems to be excuse after excuse with my ex and seeing my children and I am at loss.
If there’s any advice anyone can give me I would be very grateful. Thanks.
Get the mediator who you dealt with to sign forms so you can go to family court. U need to fill out a c100 and go for a child arrangements order. if mediator wont sign one there should be a box where u can explain why you haven't completed mediation etc. I would whilst application put in still try and see your children if you can and then write down what happened and what you done and date it and email yourself
This is incase she raises allegations and also to remind yourself what you done that day and used as evidence.
How old are both children that you are trying to see at moment? If one under 2 could cause some issues
Meditation doesn’t work in these situations . Get the mediator to sign you off and get applying to court . To be fair with w bit of reading up you can do it alone or employ a direct access barrister for £500 / 1000 to represent you at the hearing .
The excuses will keep coming . I put off court over and over again hoping the ex would stop using contact with the kids as leverage . It never ends . It took me aboht 8 months from applying to getting my order so get the ball rolling now
Get the mediator who you dealt with to sign forms so you can go to family court. U need to fill out a c100 and go for a child arrangements order. if mediator wont sign one there should be a box where u can explain why you haven't completed mediation etc. I would whilst application put in still try and see your children if you can and then write down what happened and what you done and date it and email yourself
This is incase she raises allegations and also to remind yourself what you done that day and used as evidence.
How old are both children that you are trying to see at moment? If one under 2 could cause some issues
They are 5 and 3 and I have the c100 form but I don’t think I could afford court. I just wish my ex would have her time with the kids, I have mine regardless of where it is and be done with it.
Court fee is £220 if I recall correctly. It’s sll doable without being represented . Family court are used to dealing with people without solicitors . They’ll tell you want they want you to send , they’ll give you templates etc . They have support units that help with paperwork etc . Most solicitors do free initial 45 mins . There s loads of stuff online . Google family court without a solicitor etc .
Also you may qualify for reduced fees depending on income
hi silent,
my ex did similar. had to play by her rules. would let me have kids every saturday, but no overnights. so it went to court. my kids were same age as yours when they started staying overnight with me. if it goes to court, you will get the same.
court application costs £215. and you can self-represent like lot of us. we can advise you along the way.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.