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So my ex has told me that my oldest I daughters bio dad has been in touch looking for contact with my daughter. He has had countless chances in the past and now that my daughter is 5 it would be so much worse for him to see her then disappear again. I have said he can go **** himself. Looking for opinions.
... it's difficult, what are the mothers feelings about it? I can understand why you don't want this to happen.
You could suggest that if he is serious about being in his childs life then a schedule of contact needs to be put in place, starting with a period of indirect contact. If he can keep to this arrangement, sending a card or letter every two weeks for three months then telephone contact can start, with set times to call, say once a week. If he sticks to that without letting her down after three months then short supervised contact can start, if that goes well then contact can go ahead...your looking at about 6 - 9 months of scheduled, controlled contact with the provision that if he lets her down it will stop immediately.
If he has failed in the past then he needs to prove himself and if he has been unable to stick to arrangements previously then the likelihood is that he will do the same again.
This way you and the mother can't be accused of preventing him from having a relationship with his daughter, but due to his past inconsistencies you are ensuring that your daughter is protected by ensuring that his intentions are serious this time.
Sound do able I suppose. I'm at the point where she will be finding out about him soon and when she is old enough she can meet him if she wants and I will fully support that but she's been through a lot the last year and feel this would possibly be too much for her.
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