[Solved] Advice needed

Hi Coco,

Welcome to the forum,

Does your partner know how you feel?

I would firstly discuss this with her if you are able to so she knows how you feel, and what your fears are, another option would be to go for joint marriage counseling, by doing this you would both be able to talk openly and honestly about how you feel and what happened in the build up to what she did and make some plans to build a stronger relationship going forward.

A lot of what you are feeling is probably in your head and just fears of what might be rather than what is actually happening, I understand why you feel the way you do, but until you face the problems it won't get any better and you will always be thinking what if.

GTTS

Thanks yeah when I try speak to her about it she just gets moody and either walks off or starts shouting. Will see if the idea of counselling is one she will consider. Thanks again.

There's some good advice to be found on this page if she's not receptive to the idea of counselling straight away....If she's prepared to read some of the links she might understand how you're feeling....

http://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/relationship-common-problems

Hi Coco,

Welcome to the forum,

Does your partner know how you feel?

I would firstly discuss this with her if you are able to so she knows how you feel, and what your fears are, another option would be to go for joint marriage counseling, by doing this you would both be able to talk openly and honestly about how you feel and what happened in the build up to what she did and make some plans to build a stronger relationship going forward.

A lot of what you are feeling is probably in your head and just fears of what might be rather than what is actually happening, I understand why you feel the way you do, but until you face the problems it won't get any better and you will always be thinking what if.

GTTS

There's some good advice to be found on this page if she's not receptive to the idea of counselling straight away....If she's prepared to read some of the links she might understand how you're feeling....

http://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/relationship-common-problems

Thanks guys ran the idea by her gave her the link but she's not up for it. See maybe should have said in op but she has previous as in cheated on guys in past and other situations in the past that I thought nothing of but after last year have had me wondering. I also asked her to let me pay for her to do a lie detector last year to prove it was just the once and that it was all in my head but that just lead to a fight. Anyway at the moment we have decided to call it a day and I will be moving out luckily there is a house up for rent just down the street so will still be close to my kids.

Hi Coco,

That is a shame that you couldn't work things out, I would still try and get some councelling though even if its just for yourself as it will help you get past things, I would maybe try and get her to try it too though as it could save your relationship which in the end would be better than splitting up.

On thing though if this really is the end of the line, have a look at this link as it will help you to put a plan in place that will put your children first through the break up and for the future as that will be the most important thing.

http://dadinfo.splittingup-putkidsfirst.org.uk/home

Good luck and please keep visiting the site as we will be able to offer support and advice throughout your issues.

GTTS

Thanks GTTS really appreciate it. Today she seems like she may be open to the counselling so keeping my fingers crossed. Aye either way I will probably still do it myself as I know I've got my own stuff to work through.

Well that's me done after a good day kids are in bed and she flips. I now have a black eye for my troubles trynna stop her waking kids up with her shouting so I'm here until I can figure out some way to get my step daughter away from her as well as my daughter and then I'm gone. Thanks for the advice but this ones past saving.

Hi There,

I would suggest filling a report with the police over your black eye as that will help your case later on down the line.

One big peice of advice though is DON'T do anything rash with your daughter let alone your step daughter as it will land you in trouble as she will instantly file a complaint with the police, ypu may get away with taking your daughter as you will have equal rights over where she stays and with a police report of violence that will help, but you don't unless you have adopted your step daughter have any rights over where she stays.

Be very careful and I would urge you to take some legal advice before doing anything at all as it may make matters worse rather than better.

Good luck and again please keep us posted and ask any advice you need.

GTTS

I know this probably sounds a bit cliché but it it genuinely the first time she's ever hit me and tbh I probably would hit me if I was her. not gonna file a report at the moment as I am in the middle of adopting my step daughter and that would probably put a stop to that.

Morning,

No I agree, at the moment as you are in the middle of securing a path to continue contact with your step daughter I can see why you wouldn't.

I would however take some date stamped photo's though of your black eye as evidence that it happened.

GTTS