Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
So my wifes 31 weeks pregnant and throughout I've felt a little left out (her family are very 'having a baby is all about mum and she should be the main caregiver' and I should just go to work and provide)
Today I'm having a massive spout of, what I feel is, completely irrational jealousy. She said she didnt want a baby shower so I was thinking of organising a nice joint family meal where males can come too and celebrate.
However her friend and mum organised her a completely surprise big baby shower today at her mums house - nobody even said a word to me that they were planning it - apparently they couldnt trust me not to say anything. Safe to say I'm not doing my meal now.
Shes got loaded of presents, cake, flowers etc.. and I just feel completely alone in the shadows.
I know they did a nice thing.. but I just feel left out and a bit jealous. I've never really felt like this before!
Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me and I'm a horrible person?
Normal, don't worry about it. you can feel left out or not included when a new arrival imminent. people probably not realised how u may feel. as long as you are getting on with mum to be ok you will be fine
Hello Farmship12,
I guess by now your wife will be close to or has had your baby? Please don't worry about your feelings. Becoming a parent is a big thing, and it affects both the mum to be and the dad to be's emotions. Have you tried to tell your wife how you feel? Perhaps you could plan your special meal for a time when the baby is born to celebrate, or plan some time just for you and your wife to be together. Many family members get excited at a new arrival so please don't take thier over enthusiasm with mum to be, to heart. You're not a horrible person and it sounds to me like you only want what's best for your wife and your new baby. Take each day at a time, but please remember to communicate with your wife and keep telling her how much you love her and that you will be there for her. I wish you both all the very best.
Parent Support Volunteer, Fegans
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.