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Hi everyone thanks for reading and your time, a month a go my expecting girlfriend left me and moved back home because she no longer felt feelings anymore, although extremly crushed due to feeling like iv been robbed the experience iv always dreamt of I have kept up my duties and bought thimgs she will need and kept the house running we rented through a contract, I'm extremly worried about when the baby arrives and I am aware the baby cannot leave the mother for a certain time, In my world I would like my "own" time to bond with my child a couple hours a night and then return, no over night stays just a couple hours.a night, is thus fair enough or am I gonna get outcast even though she is the one that has bought everything down? Thanks for your help!
Hey and welcome to the forum 🙂
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation becoming pregnant does strange things to a woman and her head will be all over the place things will be pretty raw as it's only a month ago since you split so things will be said and not really mean't try and give her a little space and just let her know your there.
Try not to look too much into the future and second guess everything as you will send yourself nuts I know it's hard I split with my ex on the day she told me she was pregnant and it destroyed me realising things were not going to go the way I had thought.
Has your ex said she wants you to be part of the childs life?
Hi thanks for your reply, yes obviously things are raw qe agreed to start again but we'd argue and havnt spoke.for 4 days I know she had good parents and they would.t let her block me from having a fair crack, I would do anything for her or the baby and she openly says that, she says I will have ever involvemnt with the baby as I am the baby's dad, that hurts twice as much as I planned to have a solid family that iv dreamt of, I just want my time alone with my baby if there is no future, I don't wanna be holding my baby and have to give it back after an hour, surely iv done everything to warrant my time alone 3 to 4 nights a.week and I'll drop back at night?
It's tough man having to except that there won't be a family unit I still struggle with it now but you have to concentrate on the child, Once baby arrives you will find she will not to want to let baby out of her sight which is totally natural I don't know your full situation but it may be a struggle to see little one every night through the week as baby will have a routine and if she is breast feeding it may just not be possible.
If you give her a little space and try not to escalate the situation you might find she starts to come round a little Ideally you need to talk so you both can come up with a plan you are both happy with in bringing up your child.
When is baby due?
Yeah these are all the factors I have to take in, but I feel I deserve my fair crack, she isn't breast feeding so that shouldn't be a problem, I'm not gonna ask for overnight stays just my time.alone,the baby is due in sept the 1st.
I wouldn't worry about what contact you will get until baby is born and if you suggest arrangements now it will put undue pressure on your ex and in her eyes you may come across as pushy and this may push her away even more, whilst she is pregnant just try and let her know you are there and use this time to make sure you are in a great position to be a dad which it sound like you are in keeping the house and bills in order.
I'm only saying this as exactly the same happened to me I was over the moon I was going to be a dad and I ended up pushing my ex away we got into arguments then she called the police and tried to get me done for harassment which lead my ex to completely cut me out my daughters life I then didn't see my newborn for 10 months whilst I battled her through court unfortunately the ball is in the Mothers court and what she says goes so like I said take a step back don't pressure her and take everything in baby steps.
Looking back I'm sure my ex had pre and post natal depression which was a major factor in why she acted the way she did if I knew what I knew now I would of defo chilled out about things and dealt with her differently.
Everyone deserves a fair crack so do you but if your ex doesn't like what contact you have suggested then she can just say no and theres not a lot you can do about it yeah you could take her to court for access but that really is a last resort as it is sheer [censored] on earth and the courts don't order for contact mid week as it interferes with mum and babies routine.
My ex point blank refuses any midweek contact and it's just took me 14 months to get upto having my daughter every weekend I'm in bits every time I drop her off until I pick her up again I too wanted to see my girl more regular but life just doesnt work like that when a child is involved and I still can't get used to been a weekend dad it's awful.
You've still got 4 months before little one arrives and a [censored] of a lot can change in that time do you think the relationship is salvageable?
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