I'm after some advice please. I have two children one in Yr 7 and Yr 3. My ex wife sent me and email two days ago sating that she is moving both children schools this September, closer to where she lives with no prior discussion or agreement by myself. She moved house last year. Approx 10 miles away from where I live. The children still go to the local schools which is 1 mile and 1.5 mile from my house.
We have a child arrangement order where the children stay with me 3 nights a week. 2 one week and 4 the following week. In that there was a prohibited steps that the children were to stay in their current schools for 12 months, that was spent two years ago.
Her reasons being that she is late for work on the days she drops them off. Which i know to be a Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. She drops yr 3 off at 8:45 and starts work at 9:00. Her place of work is 15 mins from the primary school. If late it must only be minutes unless there is heavy traffic. I know her work is flexible as she as worked there for over 15 years, part of when we were together. I appreciate that owners and hierarchy may change over the years, thing change but I feel she's using this as an excuse. There is also the issue if she ever breaks down then she can't get the children to school. Which is an issue for millions of others who breaks down on the school run. I feel these are no where near good enough excuses to uplift and move the children when they are happy and settled in their current schools. Yr 7 child is in the best high school in the borough according the their Ofstead report. This has no benefit to the children whatsoever.
I'm looking to apply for specific issue order but feel that mediation will be a waste of time and she may not agree to it. My worry is that whilst i'm trying to fight this the transition will go through. My feeling is if they end up moving with me being powerless at this time then I can't expect the children to move back again. This just wouldn't be fair to pout them through this again. She dropped this on my two weeks before the schools finish and I don't know how long she has been sorting out new schools. I know the children do not know. I don't know yet if their schools know so I have contacted both schools explaining what is happening and asking them to keep their places open for next year until i can try and resolve this. I have contacted my local family court and explained the situation and asked for advice. I'm waiting a response from all 3. I haven't spoken to her or responded to the email. I want to see where I stand before i open up dialog.
Any advice would be much appreciated.
hi. I think it would be more important for high school child to remain in same school, for stability. if mother disagrees, you could cite urgency as reason to skip mediation and apply to court. would be surprised if you got a hearing before September.
Hi, this sounds very frustrating for you and you are right that it seems a shame to move your children when they are happy and settled. Stability is important and this potential new school scenario may not be something that you can control right now or until you have been advised further. In that case, being there for your children if and when this change happens is key and equally important is the support you give them through it. Listening and problem solving together will be immensely invaluable to them. Children are often more resilient than we expect when it comes to changing schools, so keeping positive for them and being supportive with the change will really help their mindset and how they approach it all.
Parent Support @ Spurgeons +mumof3