Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello,
I am the father of two little boys aged 8 and 11.
I am writing to you, to ask for help, as I want regular weekly contact with my children. Their mother is adamant that I can only see them every two weeks. This is stressing me and causing me unrest and sleepless nights.
Don’t see the kids often (every two weeks).
One child was diagnosed with ME /CHF after a Pneumonia caught a year and two months ago.
The mother is overprotective and probably not well mentally. There is a history with her mother of manic depression. She herself was getting counselling after her mum passed away early on 2013.
Kids are often absent from school, due to colds, headaches, tummy aches and flu. One is going only school from 1.30pm to 3pm the other goes full time. On the days that one child doesn’t feel well he stays at home and participates with the classroom via a robot called AV1.
Kids were often going to school wearing shorts in very cold weather (sometimes minus temperatures with inadequate clothing).
Kids are not respecting their dad when he knocks on the door or calls in, by not answering the phone or opening the door. (try to ring everyday)
Kids are constantly asking, what are we going to do, when I manage to speak to them or we are having a day together ( Their mum always asks the same).
The fortnight contact stops when kids have minor cold or headache.
Kids were very well and happy while away on holidays. We went to Bulgaria with my partner and her daughter for 16 days. My child that has ME/ Chronic Fatigue was the most active of all three children.
I need your help as I have written to their mum but she is very strong with her position.
Also, due to my working shifts, as I manage a restaurant, I am often restricted with days and times. This clearly doesn’t help the situation.
During this Christmas holidays, their mum is only allowing me to see the boys for lunch on the 24th. She then goes on and says that I am due to have them on the 30th for their fortnight sleepover.
Please help help help!
Can we do mediation through your organisation. What do you recommend to be the next course of action?
Also I was married to their mum and have Parental responsibility.
Will await for your response.
Thanks in advance.
A desperate dad,
Hi there
I’ve edited your post to take out the names of your children and ex, it’s an open forum and not wise to discuss personal things that can be used to recognise a particular person.
Do you have your children for a full weekend every fortnight?
I’m not aware that mediation is available through this organisation, but it’s not difficult to find mediation services in your area, here’s a link to th national family mediation website, you should be able to find out what I’d offered in your area.
www.nfm.org.uk
Mediation would be your first option and is a requirement before a court application can be made. If mediation doesn’t work for whatever reason, the media actor will sigh the form to enable you to submit an application to court.
There’s lots of information in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section that you might find helpful. Also it might be a good idea for you to attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area. Here’s a link to their website where you can look for a meeting that is local to you.
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings.
All the best
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.