[Solved] your views and concerns regarding young people and alcohol

Where I live I often see young teens from my daughters school year (year 9) - drinking after school. A couple of times i have seen two of the girls absolutely steaming drunk by 5.00pm at the local park.

As i am home when my daughter gets home from school and unless she has a club to go to comes straight home - so i know she isn't giving in to peer pressure just yet. I also know that she hates the taste of alcoholic drinks as we have let her try the odd sip of wine and beer - she has always gone arrghhh how do you drink that. Of course as we never drink alcopops (if thats how you spell it) she hasn't drunk them. I guess my main fear would be around alcopops - surely these are targeted at teens ?

I am 'lucky' because my children were exposed to the worst effects of my ex's alcohol problem. This was more effective than anything I could have told them (my son is at university, and has never had an alcoholic drink in his life - shows the effect it had).

I did take my children to a couple of Al Anon meetings at one point, mainly so they could understand more about the problem, but it's a good way of showing the effect alcohol has on the people connected with alcoholics.

This subject is quite a big one in are house,i've got a two yr old and a 14 yr old step-son. The step-son is pretty much a good lad-he has his moments but he is a teenager afterall.

Luckily he seems quite switched on regards Drugs and Alcohol,he has the occasional beer with me and his Mum at a meal or something-not genarerally just for the sake of it,we also know that sometimes he drinks when he's out with his mates at the weekend,some of his friends get steeming on a regular basis-it seems that some of them get bought the beers etc by there parents,an example the other week he was going to a party and asked us if we would get him some beers as most his mates had some(bought by there parents),he didn't get any off us but I know he probally had a drink. For us the fact alot of his friends parents seem alot more layed back about it makes it hard for us. Also there is the fact that me and his Mum used to drink at a simalar age,im a believer in just becouse I did doesn't mean you can.

I think the way we are dealing with issues seem to be working as he's certainly not as wreckless as some of his friends,we try to be open to talk to him about alot of things,luckily the DRUG thing hasn't reared it's ugly head(even though some kids roll joints on the bus)..

Hi there

I remember coming home at 15 worse for wear after a rugby night, throwing up everywhere and my parents thinking it was funny. I cannot see me seeing the funny side when my kids do it and will probably be off to the pub they bought the alcohol from to threaten them.

However is this not part of growing up\/ and therefore I will do my very best to warn them of the risks and hope they can both be sensible.

It is a very different environment now as the nearest I had to alcopops was "babycham" and so we drunk beer or spirits.

A

Hi

Sadly with the abundance of cheap alcohol and the peer pressure on teens these days to conform, it's almost inevitable that they will have drunk some alcohol at a very young age.

Despite your best intentions and the advice you give your teenagers about the dangers of drinking/taking drugs etc what they do when they are out with their friends is beyond your control. All you can do is hope that some of the advice you give stays with them. Keep communicating - teens may think they know it all but they do still want and expect boundaries. Of course they are going to experiment, what teenager doesn't and I think it would be naive to think that your child won't try something.

Sadly, your children will always come up against other children whose parents seem to turn a blind eye and almost seem to encourage their kids to drink etc. I heard from a friend recently that her daughter wanted to take vodka to a party at the age of 13 because she said she'd be the odd one out if she didn't! My son's friend was given a slab of beer for his 16th birthday by his parents - and now at 19 has a real issue with alcohol and 'doesn't feel right' if he doesn't have a pint of beer in his hand when he's out.

Jamie

at 19 has a real issue with alcohol and 'doesn't feel right' if he doesn't have a pint of beer in his hand when he's out.

Jamie

This seems to be pretty common in society today, and a hard attitude to break. 🙁

My middle boy is now in his mid 20's and living with us.
A couple of weeks ago he got very drunk (he couldn't find his front door keys after dropping them at the front door). He rarely gets drunk but it is a worry when he does.
I guess I'm having to manage my own concerns. Clearly he is an adult and has to live by his own choices. It just feels difficult because he's still my 'little boy' at some level and I want the best for him.
Chatting to him a couple of days later it was clear he had not gone out with the intention of getting drunk. Usually he'd just have a couple of drinks once a week or fortnight.
Of course, if he lived in his own place I would be unaware of him returning after a night out.

I would say that the fact that he had not gone out with the intention of getting drunk is a good sign (as many youngsters go out with exactly the opposite intention). If this is a very occasional thing, then I wouldn't worry too much about it, and the fact that he doesn't do so often means that it probably doesn't take a lot of alcohol to get him into the state he was in (I can say that in my own case, I can drink a large glass of wine, and though I may be legally under the limit, I would certainly not be safe to drive). The fact that he was talking to you about it is also very good. 😀

Hi Guys – thanks for all your posts on this thread. We started it because the Department of Children Schools and families (DCSF) are working on developing content for a campaign about young people and alcohol. They are building an online hub of information for parents and young people as part of this campaign. This information will include content about different scenarios parents may want to be prepared for when it comes to alcohol and their children.

As their campaign aims to reflect the genuine concerns and experiences of parents, we thought we would get your views on this to feed back to them. They especially want to know how Dads deal with these scenarios and conversations. We will send a PM to all of you who have made a comment here to see if you are OK with us feeding your comments back to them. They will not be mentioning individual names but would like to share your advice with other parents, stating that amongst other online parenting forums Dadtalk users fed back the following.

Please respond to your private messages if you have any thoughts, concerns or feedback. 😀

Thanks
The Dadtalk Team