[Solved] Cafcass ( massive issue)

Hi Mojo and every one ,
Just quick update ,

I had an assessment yesterday for my suitability for ( better building relationships programme )

If you remember my story the judge found I put pressure on my ex leaving our son with my family in a diffrent country and I said that I don't agree with that and I thought we agreed about it me and my ex,
So to be honest I said the same thing again to the lady yesterday because this is the truth ,
I know it's a fact that the judge found I put pressure on my ex but i cant say yes I did it because I didn't put pressure and I thought we had agreement to leave our son with my parents ,

Second thing my ex made allegation that I shoved her on occasions and I was aggressive when the programme tutor asked me that again I said noooo it didn't happen because it didn't and there was no prove of it,

I told her cafcass told me think about this programme as it will move the contact forward with your son but my ex wife main concern is a flight risk so I don't know how this programme will help me and my son,

I told her I am so open to have the programme if it will benefit me and my son and will make the relationship between me and ex better so she knows that i am motivated to have this programme if it will help me and my son or if it will benefit me in general.

She told me the programme will talk about behaviours about how not to be abusive and not to be control anyone and not to be violence and she said that I am denying my ex allegation which she think I might not be suitable for this course ,
She thought this course might not benefit me,

She told me think about what happened in the past and we can meet one more time next week to discuss it again and for her to think about it this programme will benefit me or not ,

So i think it's a big part of being suitable is to accept the allegation which I don't want to accept it because it's not true ,
But at the same time I told them I am motivated to take the programme if it will help me and my son and improve the relation between me and ex and benefit me.

She sounded she is not sure if the course will benefit me or not as she said some people in this course will have convections and maybe the things we will talk about nothing to do with you,

I told her cafcass think if I take this course they will increase the contact between me and my son and cafcass think that this course will be benefit me but you think I might be not suitable ,
She said cafcass doesn't know alot about the programme and that they have more experience about deciding if this course will benefit me or not,

My question now that cafcass lady has a big hope and she is sure that I will be suitable so what if i will not be suitable???
What will be her reaction??

Last hearing judge said let's see if you are suitable or not,
Then if you are suitable I will decide how the contact will be during the 6 month course ,
And if you are not suitable I will decide how the contact will be and we even can go to contested hearing Or put a date for a final hearing,

Carcass recommendation on s7 report wa to move contact from supervised to supported during the course if I will be suitable ,

If Iam not suitable what might happen at the next hearing ????

Many thanks in advance and really sorry for my long post again,

Looking forward to hearing from everyone who will be able to advise me what should I do?

Is it a bad thing if iam not suitable???
Or a good thing I don't really know

I think it would depend on why they say it wouldn't be suitable for you.

If they say you are not willing to accept the court's findings etc, the judge could potentially take a dim view of it but if they say being a flight risk is the reason it's not suitable, the judge might agree.

Hi Yoda,
Thank you for your reply,

The judge finding was that I put pressure on my ex leaving our son with my parents in diffrent country which in his view was a sort of abduction,
Is it worth having this course ??

My ex allegation about me being aggressive and shoved her and bla bla it's not even mentioned on the the judge judgment, So there is no prove of what she is saying which I denied anyway ,

I will say to the programme tutor while she assessing me next time , ( I didn't put pressure on my ex and I thought we agreed But the judge found that I did put pressure on her do I have to accept it ?? Or maybe I put pressure on her without feeling to do so ))
If you think the programme will benefit me I will be open and happy to have it ,
But if will not benefit me then there is no point taking it,

To be honest yoda i don't want to accept somthing I didn't do or I didn't mean to do it.

So what you advice me Yoda??
Is it good thing to be suitable for the programme ???
The programme tutor not sure if the programme will benefit me or not ,

CAFCASS recommendation was to move the contact from supervised to supported and she is willing to move contact forward during and after the course if iam suitable ,
If I'm not suitable will that change her recommendation???

I have told the programme tutor I am motivated to have the course if it will benefit me and my son ,

I don't feel good being suitable and take course for somthing I didn't do but i feel it can move contact forward as cafcass said to me,

And also worried to be not suitable to lose the chance they offer me and to look like i don't want to learn and not accepting the judge judgment and take a dim view of it as you saying .

I hope someone can advice what is the right thing to do ,
Because my brain can't take it anymore

Sometimes it's better to engage in programmes and sometimes it isn't. It's very difficult for us to comment so specifically as we weren't at the hearing and therefore don't know the judge's reason for finding against you.

It's not our place to tell you what to do, but as Yoda has said, the court may take a dim view if you don't accept their finding. CAFCASS have also recommended that you take this course, and have suggest that it will help with contact.

However, from your post, I get the distinct impression that because you don't agree with the judges decision, you are finding it really hard to accept any of the allegations, this is a key part of getting on the course and if the course tutor thinks you don't accept them, she is likely to find that you're unsuitable.