[Solved] Cafcass ( massive issue)

I think that all sounds good, the fact he called for mummmy a couple of times won’t have too much of an effect, it was more important for the officer to see how you handled it, and you did the right things, distracted him and gave him reassurance.

As far as removing him, or getting a second passport, you have addressed these issues as best you can.

There's no way of knowing what the report will say, it sounds like you have done your best to show that you are a loving father and want to work with everyone involved, to provide a safe and caring environment to see your son and continue to develop the close bond that you both have.

It might be helpful if you prepare a schedule of increasing contact, suggesting that to begin with you move away from the centre, seeing him for half days for a short while, then full days and then one overnight...building it up slowly so that your son gets used to each little increase, before moving to the next step.

Best of luck

Thank you Mojo,

I have done the schedule in a piece of paper for me and printed it to suggest it to the cafcass officer during the interview and by the end of the interview she asked if she can take these papers where I made notes and where I put the suggested contact,

I have said that we can start by half days twice a week for a short while and then move to full days twice a week and then if my my son is happy and getting on then we can have overnight stay aswell and then if he is completely happy then I want fair and equal contact and I proposed to have him 3 days a week once he is settled and happy with me .
I also suggested in worse cases if there is no trust yet that he can come And stay with me alone , someone from my ex family can come And stay with us at my house or outside or where ever we go I don't really mind I said just to reassure them it's not my intention to take him away at all.

I really hope my report will be ok and thank you so much MOJO for your help ,

I will keep everyone here updated once I hear any news from cafcass.

Thank you again

You’re welcome, fingers crossed it all goes well for you.

Hello every one,
I have an update from cafcass,
I had my last phone interview with them today before they finish section 7 report ,
They have read the judge judgment about me and my ex if we agreed to leave our son in my country or I put pressure on my ex to leave our son there,
And as I mentioned before the judge said that he found that I put a pressure on my ex to leave our son in my country and this wasn't appropriate to do so,
My ex concern now is flight risk and she is worried I will take him and get out the country ,
That is why as I mentioned before I asked my embassy to stop me from issuing a passport for him which cafcass officer said this was very helpful and a positive move from me,
I still seeing my son supervised every 2 weeks.
Cafcass said she saw me with my son and contact was lovely and she see that I have alot to offer my son in his life ,
She said she wants to move things forward but if she recommend to the court to increase the contact my ex will not follow it and that will cause lots of trouble to her with the court and it will not be nice,
She told me if we can't get her (my ex) on board you will not have agood relationship with your son ,
Her proposal was to take 6 month ( domestic abuse perpetrator programme ),she told me don't think alot about the name but think that this course will move the contact forward for you and your son( I want you to understand that you did put pressure on your ex leaving your son at your country and this was stressful for her and I want you after the course to tell me I know that was harmful and stressful for her ) and at the meantime contact to move from supervised contact centre to supported contact centre as it's free but it's still once every 2 weeks 2 or 3 hours I think,
And she said they never increase contact untill after the half period of the course which is 3 month.
She said she will inform my ex that in the future Iam going to spend more time with my son without other people being with us and that I need to rebuild trust with my ex again but i will only be able to do that by spending time with my son and bringing him back to his mother again ,
She said no one said to my ex yet that it's Likely to happen that me and my son are likely to spend time together unsupervised ,
She said it's gonna be a big shock to her on Monday when i ( cafcass)call her and tell her that ,
and she will need abit of time after that to think about it
I told her it's been a year already ,
She said you waited alot and I know it's another 6 month but it's coming to final soon,

I told her but how will I take my son if I can't get him any passports,
Her answer was it's not impossible for children to be abducted by diffrent names and diffrent passport and she said she knows I will not do that and she believes me and that we need to reassure my ex

I think that is all what happened in the phone interview,
I think the cafcass lady trying to help but i really expected better than that,
I don't know if this programme is actually a good idea or it will just delay things for another 6 month to be able to have my son at my house ,
What if I finish the programme and then my ex still not agree to increase contact and to see my son unsupervised and come for over night,

What do you Think guys?
Are things going the right away or it could of been better than that?
Is it positive thing from cafcass to put those recommendation or it's not ??

I would appreciate your help of what you think and what I should do

Many thanks in advance

Hi there

I think it’s a difficult one for you, I don’t entirely agree with the Cafcass officer, but if she is going to recommend the course in her report and the court agrees to it, you won’t have a lot of choice.

Here’s a link to a little more information about it

https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/domestic-abuse/domestic-abuse-perpetrator-programme/

Because of the mothers attitude towards you, contact will continue to be difficult, perhaps the officer is hoping that she will see all the effort you are putting in and change the way she feels towards you.

All the best