[Solved] worried about seeing my son

From what you have just said, you need to speak to Children's services - I don't think that hoping it's going to get better is a realistic option, and equally from her behaviour, I don't see any great hope for mediation. As you are unemployed, you should qualify for legal aid, so I would apply for this immediately with a view to getting a contact order - the legal aid for this stops next April, I believe, so it's worth checking whether that is for new cases only.

Hi and welcome Mangisi 🙂

...I'd just like to ask, are you on your sons birth certificate? If you are then you have what is called Parental Responsibility, this gives you some rights as a father, although this doesn't include the right to contact unfortunately.

I understand that you are feeling worried for the safety of your son, how long ago was it when she pulled a knife on you and was handling your son in a violent way? This type of thing is hard to prove, if you report it she will deny it, and then she may not let you see your son at all. Does she have a history of violence? Is she perhaps known to the police for this type of behaviour? Do you think she would actually physically abuse your son? If your answer to the last question is yes then you must act upon it.

If you think that theres a chance of sorting this out you could try asking her to attend Mediation, this is where you would both attend and talk through the issues you have, and with the guidance of a trained mediator, try and reach an agreement about contact that you are both happy with. You would them sign a mediated statement which will outline the agreements you have made. There is a fee for this service but as you are unemployed you will be entitled to Legal Aid and this will cover the cost. Its always best to try mediation before considering an application for contact throough the family court.

If mediation fails then you can apply to the court for a contact order. As you are unemployed you would be entitled to Legal Aid which will pay your solicitors fees. There are lots of Dads that represent themselves in court, either because they arnt eligible for Legal Aid, or they have been unhappy with the way their solicitor has handled their case. If you go to the Legal Eagle section you will see a couple of stickys at the top of the section, one is Contact Order C100 Guide, this is the form you would use to apply for contact. The other is Representing yourself in Court. Theres lots of helpful information in both and its well worth having a look at.

I wish there was something I could say to help you here and now, but the process is a very slow one. If however you feel that your child is at serious risk then I would say you should contact Social Services immediately and deal with the possible fall out after.

Good luck with everything and please do let us know how you're getting on with it all 🙂

my name is on his birth certificate .the incident happened last month when i went to see my son ,and i brushed it under the rug thinking it is just her being angry about the brake up , however she and her family have threatned with not seeing him anymore , i have involved the police and they have the incident reports on this .i am very worried mostly about the safety and seeing my son and i dont trust what her family might do , because they have also encourage her to stop me from seeing him .so am i deepely worried about my son safety .i had hoped that her family could have with the mediation however . i do not think this would work anymore .i had hoped the last think i would have to do is go to court but this seems like the only option .so i will look into pursuing that and getting legal aid .i will also have to contact social services about this as only hoping for the best does not seem reasonable . thank you for your advice and i will do what it takes for the safety of my son .thank you all for your advice and will let you know how this will go .i have tried to mediate this has really affected me a lot and its the last thing i want do , i have contacted a legal advisor and have a meeting with the this tuesday so hopefully i can fight for my son .

Hi again 🙂

...I think that you are doing all the right things....contacting the police and getting Social Services involved. Hopefully your Legal Advisor will get things moving quickly for you and will apply to the courts for contact ASAP.

I would suggest you keep a diary of all communication between you and your ex, dont delete any txts or emails, in fact keep everything that involves your son as this might be helpful in Court. Always try and remain calm and reasonable when dealing with your ex, even if she is being abusive, if there are any further incidents or threats, keep a record of them with times and dates.