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Reporting a concern
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Hi, since winning in court to see my son. I now have more problems and would like to know where I stand please.
I had my son on boxing day, overnight till 6pm. He had a mild cough. I bought some medicine for him and all was fine until around 3pm the following day. We don't have a walk in centre so I text his mum asking if she could make an appointment as his cough was getting worse and I will take him. Minutes later I got a reply saying she's made an appointment, bring him to her and she'll take him. I finally got a response from her a 9pm after texting her at 5pm asking how he is. She said he could have asthma and because he was a locum dr he couldn't supply him with an inhaler, and also he smelt smoke on his coat and asked Kian if anyone smokes (my son is 3 years old) and the coat is brand new.
The next two days I've texted her asking how he is and I finally got a reply last night, at 9pm, saying we've been to hospital, he does have asthma and he's got an inhaler and meds. Also there's been mention of smoke which she's going to tell me on Tuesday when I pick Kian up.
Now I've had to move back into my mums bungalow and she does smoke. Its a massive bungalow with two living rooms. Mum smokes in the far living room and I keep my son in the other living room. I'm not a big fan of smoke so I keep away from it myself. Also she doesn't smoke when Kian is in the bungalow. Now looking at certain things on the Internet about asthma. Things like cold damp house and open fires can bring it on. Those two are major factors as her bungalow is cold n damp and his grandad has an open fire whilst also being cold. Plus he's always ill and I have to cancel my days with him.
So can a locum dr ask a 3 year old if anyone smokes and do you think his mum isn't telling them the whole truth as it seems to be the only thing she's concentrating on is smoke. And why isn't she taking me to the drs or hospital? I feel like she's trying to find ways to stopping me seeing my son.
Hi there,
Have you had the final hearing at court? I know you were granted weekly contact etc.
It is quite usual for Drs to ask if there is smoking, but unusual for them to ask a child so young I would have thought, it would be the accompanying adult that was asked the question IMO.
She doesn't have to take you to the hospital but she has a duty to keep you informed of any medical developments, which she has done, even though there was a delay in her doing so.
You are right to point out that there are other factors beside smoking that can bring on asthma attacks, but I guess smoking is the most controversial. Perhaps you should send her the information about there being other triggers beside smoking, you could also mention that he is often ill and your contact is affected.
If you are going back to court you could make a point of bringing your concerns up about the amount of time he is poorly.
We go back on the 29th January to find out about a crb check on my mum. Longer story but this has happened before and all come back clear. My ex is making out that the Dr are asking my son these questions and, unfortunately, she does lie. So the Dr's/consultant could be saying other things but she's only pinpointing the smoking. I just feel that she's trying anything to stop me seeing my son and she doesn't realise that he's ill alot and should pay more attention at the health risks at her home and her parents home.
Why don't you contact the dr/consultant and have a chat with him about your concerns. If you have PR you are entitled to speak about your sons health with the professionals that are treating him.
PR is that parental rights? I'm on the birth certificate, pay maintenance and there are no safeguarding issues with me, as we found out in court. We were never married but I do believe what I mentioned above and what it says on the government website I do have parental rights, then other people say I don't because we weren't married. But if I do and I ask my ex for the details of his Dr/consultatant. Does she have to tell me? And if she doesn't, how do I find out who they are? Please.
If you are on the birth certificate then you have PR (parental rights). Pre 2003 a father had to have been married to the mother to have PR but as your son is only 3 years old this doesn't apply.
If she refuses to tell you the name of the consultant/GP then you would need to contact the Health Authority in the area that your son lives and request the information from them. They would need a copy of your sons birth certificate and the request needs to be in writing. There is a template letter for this, I'll try and find it for you.
You have the right to this information, perhaps you should remind your ex of this, and the fact that if she refuses to comply you will bring it to the attention of the judge at the next hearing.
www.separateddads.co.uk/letter-templates-for-school-health-club-activities.html
Although this letter is more about accessing medical records you could just adjust it to ask for the name of your sons GP, once you have that then you can access the records through the GP directly.
Thank you so much for the information. I'll ask her tomorrow fo all of the information, including which nursery he goes to, as she won't tell me. So all of the information you have given to me will be used. Once again, thank you :).