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hi all , this is my first post on this site , maybe looking for advice , guidance or somewhere to air my views in what i believe to be a system still sideing with a mothers parenting skills without evaluating who would be a more suitable parent . I have 2 children , the youngest is 5 and we'll call x , ive recently been reunited with x after 3 years of trying to find him and his mom after his mom decided to leave the area purposely without informing me , its been a battle with solicitors after she got into a relationship which turned violent with another partner which ended up with her residing at a refuge centre . Of course when someone is admitted to these places a veil of silence cokmes up to protect the whereabouts of that person . Needless to say this slowed everything down for me and when she did leave she ran again , in the 3 years of her running my son has been in 5 different places in the uk . He has speech and language delay due to the fact that his mom didnt take him to toddler or nursery groups or maybe not haveing the interection he should of recieved . He and the other 2 children who live with theyre mom are also on a child protection plan for neglect , theyre mom has also been admitted into a hospital for mental health issues . The worse thing happend around november last year , he was found wondering the streets at 5.30am in his pyjamas and was picked up by police , luckily he was found by his headmaster and police called social services , on returning him to his mom they found her to be asleep . it was decided that it was an accident and he was given back to his mom . The problem i have is my child is already on a child protection plan for neglect yet police and social services deemed that it was not neglectfull of his mom to check he couldnt get out ??????????? confused dot com . This frightens me as x getting out from his house may have been his last (accident ) as it was called , maybe im being an overprotective dad it just seems unbelievable how alot of dads who want to be in theyre childrens lives are fobbed off in some ways . Needless to say im now filed for full residencey, thank you for listening.
Thanks for sharing your story on here. I can understand your frustration and worry for your child's welfare. How did you find out about what's been happening to your son? Let us know how you get on with the full residencey application. Really hope things work out well for you & your son.
Hi and welcome to the forum.
Are social services aware that you are filing for residency - it may be worth having a word with them to see what their views are, it would be easier if they were on your side in your case,
hi , well i was lucky that one of her family members told me to phone social services , the best thing is social services had my contact details from when i was looking for him for the last 3 years , trouble was he had moved around so much that it turns out different social services around the country dont speak to eachother and my details were never used for contacting me . Im lucky that after having contact with him since october im now in a position where i have him every other weekend from friday to sunday , NOTHING can ever replace those moments which i missed , e.g first steps , first words , but at least im in a position where im seeing him now and building our relationship and going for residency . Ill be sure to let you know how things progress.
hi , yes they are fully aware but unfortunately as i made a few waves and complaints regarding one of theyre social workers and consequently they do not work their anymore , coincidence or not who knows ????? I think theyre view now may be some what byassed , but if a social worker isnt following procedure then its my view they shouldnt be in that position.
I agree, or at the very least retrained to do the jop properly (but then that's the same in any walk of life).
I think if you can persuade them that you really want to work with them for the benefit of the children, it will certainly help.
i can see what your saying but its hard to forget my principals , one being not to work with incompetant people who cant do theyre jobs properly especially when it involves children . Thanks for the advice though
Hi
I apologise if I came across badly there - I'm not suggesting you forget your principles for a moment, a child's safety should always be the paramount concern. However, there are plenty of good social workers as well, and if you can get one you can work with, then it will make your case much easier than if you are working against them.
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