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Hi I was wondering if anyone can help with some advise.
My brother in law is in a massive bind and he doesn't know i'm trying to help him as he worried of what could happen. He broke up with his wife 5 years ago after there second son was born. It was for so many reasons. He was obviously feeling guilty and didn't want to boys to suffer so he has done everything the ex wife has asked him to for the past 5 years. She even moved 2 hours away from him and he travels there and back 4-5 times a week to see the boys and take them to school etc. They had the 2 year separation divorce i think. Then the ex started suffering from depression. My brother in law has a new partner who is great with the boys. they have been together 2 years. The ex also had a new partner which stopped the depression. The ex threatened to take the boys to bristol to live with this guy.. were in cambridgeshire. So my brother in law did even more and paid even more to keep them here. She then broke up with her boyfriend and slumped into deression which included self harming. She shouts at the boys and keeps a carving knife in the bathroom cabinet. Social services have been infromed and medical professionals say the boys cant be taken away from her because she could kill herself, but they are also saying its not good for the boys to see her like this. Her language is foul and she does not look after them well.. Social services seem to be doing nothing and she keeps changing days when my brother in law can see the boys.. he now pays for everything as she has been off work for 7 weeks.... its very much a case of she says jump and he asks how high.. Its because he's a great father..
Help what can he do..
should he apply for full custody?
I would get him to speak to children's services again. I cannot believe that the boys should be left with her because she might kill herself - she may harm them if the are left there. Surely they should be taking the boys away and then putting into place measures to prevent her from self harming.
My thoughts exactly! If anything its enabling her. By doing such stupid things its giving her the control over everything, which she isn't in the right state of mind to be doing.
Thanks
...Next time he talks to Childrens Services tell him to say that the children are at risk of harm from the mother. Their job is always to put a childs best interests above everything else, and so putting the mothers needs before the childs goes against their obligations. If they wont listen take it higher and ask to speak to a manager, or call into the offices and ask to speak to the person in authority.
It is written into the childrens act that the childs well being must come first!
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
