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Hi all i have a few questions to ask and would like a opinion on what you would do,
Ive spoken to NSPCC and they said they have concern and wanna pass the information to SS but i already passed that on for the last 18months and failed to do anything to protect my child.
Basically my ex parter has started to let me see my Child again for the last 2 months after i got the solicitors involved.
while i had my child he/she told me a number of things baring in mind my child is only 6 years old coming on 7.
told me that his/her mum and new parter take him/her to the pub 3 days a week and stay their for upto 11pmalso said that mum n new partner drink vodka and coke every day
also told me that mum smokes funny smelling cigarettes that she uses BIG rizla for
also told me that her partner shouts at her n mum smacks her [censored]
also told me that even during holidays he/she is not taken no where except the pub and tesco the rest of the time he/she is sat at home playing on the DS.
also told me that on many occasions mum dont even put (Child) to bed he/she gets sent upstairs and has to put himself/herself to bed.
also told me that mum does not read to him/her, has to read himself/herself.
also told me that he/she has to do cleaning round the house including the cats tray when it falls down the stairs and he/she has to pick it up with his/her hands (cat litter etc)
also gets told that he/she has to call her new partner DADDY even tho he/she doesn't want to.
their is alot more aswell but to much to list.
Her mum is 39 n im in my early 20's my daughter is coming on 7 and her mum started sleeping with me when i was 15.
i have reported to SS about the concerns that i had for my daughter but they didn't do ANYTHING about it
i currently have him/her in my care and he/she is due to go home shortly. their is no court order against me for anything and i am also on his/her birth certificate.
I want some advice if i should return my child back to her, ive spoken to the police about it and they said there is nothing they can do if i don't.
i just have real concern for my child and his/her safety and would like any help or advice i can get.
Ive put he/she as mum maybe able to view this.
thank you
...If you feel that the risks to your child are serious enough and the police have told you that they will not get involved, then I would call the SS and tell them that the NSPCC agree that the issues are serious enough for SS involvement, the police have said they will not get involved and that in the circumstances and because your child wants to stay with you that you will be keeping her and applying for Residency. That is really important, if you keep her you must back it up with an application for an emergency Residency hearing. If you already have a solicitor and Legal Aid, great but if not, its too late now and you will have to self represent.
Best of luck π
my ex has started to turn my children against me i dont know what she has said to one of my children who went from being daddys little girl to not even talking to me in the space of two weeks (i have them every other weekend and during holidays)
every time i offer help or support its like hitting a brick wall and my ex gets all defensive. i want the best for my children and that is being hindered be my ex
im worried about there welfair and ther a few other things but its like an endless battle.
any advice would be greatly received
hi,
i also can say its a endless battle i went to court with my ex partner and she has admitted that my daughter say her n her new partner have a argument n a coke/vodka was thrown over her mum .
a section 7 report was ordered and i though they will be coming to visit me at home but today i got a letter asking me to go to there office in luton on 21st aug
can someone help?
....you decided against just keeping hold of your daughter, I thought you might have done and you probably wish you had now...it is a big step to take. Do you still have contact visits with your daughter?
Are you applying for residence or contact?
It sometimes happens that the SS request you attend for interview at their office. Hopefully they will speak to your daughter and ask her what her wishes are and how she feels, you have to hope that she opens up to them and tells them everything that she has told you.
What specifically would you like help with and maybe we can give you some advice π
well basically SS went round her mums house they claimed to have interviewed my daughter there but after getting the report it turns out that it was her mum they interviewed and not my daughter. While SS was there my daughter was upstaires playing where she had slipped over on the bed and banged her back hurting herself , she then sat downstairs while SS where talking to her mum and her mother put her hands over her ears. The SS report has many lies in for example her mother claims she had moved into bedford in November 2010 with her current partner. ( well thats funny as she moved to bedford in 2008 and i moved out in November 2010 ) SS were also aware of my partner but even though they were she is not mentioned anywhere on the paperwork and when i questioned them about it they said oh they never knew anything. there is also a bit where she states that her partners kid comes round every weekend to stay well thats a lie he only comes during school holidays,
that visiting me is upsetting her and she can't sleep because of it ( my daughter says she cant sleep because the family pet got put down and she is very upset by it, her mother told her to say its because of me why she cant sleep, her mother also gives her medication when she cant sleep and if that dont work she tells her off and has grounded her for the fact that she cant sleep). they also Havnt stated that her daughter who is 1 year younger than me got taken off her by her own parents and hasn't spoken to her in over 7 years.
the investigation doesnt seem like it was done thourghouly by someone who was supposed to be safe guarding my daughter
my daughter has told me this ( while i had my phone on record)
she is also left alone to run her own bath and wash herself while her mum drinks vodka and coke
about her mum hitting her leaving hand prints
her sister wreaking her clothes
that her sister has to ware her clothes because she hasnt put them in the wash bin and the mother hasn't bothered doing it herself.
being given medication to help sleep and when they dont work mother shouts at her and grounds her (also tells her to say she cant sleep because of me)
that the bruise on her leg is where her sister pushed her off her bike for no reason (mum wasn't concerned)
told my daughter that she was gonna punch my partner in her face.
that she has to sit in the house playing ds and not going out.
that there is dog poo in the garden.
that my daughter fell off her bike in the garden and cut her hand on glass.
when her partners son comes he and her step sister leave her out and dont play with her and when she tells her mother her mum say to go play on her own.
and also that if she was given the choice she would want to live with me and my partner as we keep her safe
shes seen her mum n partner argue also drinks being thrown at her mum.
snake has died in june and still hasnt been taken out the tank and there is now a smell.
that if my daughter tell anyone the truth about what goes on at home her mum will be very angry
** my daughter had said all the above while i had my phone on video record but im not sure if im allowed to use that as evidence to help my case.
a section 7 report is being done currently and cafcass have invited me for a interview to there office in late aug that report will have to be in court by start of september and they stated they wont be coming round my house to check anything , as far as that sounds i think they made up there mind on the mother already and she has won them over.
* her mum was supposed to go to the gp to get a drugs and alcohol test done when she attended she said the kit wasn't there to have it done so she didn't ( court letter says that i to be funded by me not to be organised by myself.)
since then i organised it 5 days after i got that letter from her she still upto this date not attended that was over a month ago.
im not sure what to do as no one from SS or Cafcass is trying to help at anything
oh and yes her mother wanted me to have supervised visits with my daughter but the court told her there is no need and that i should be given access every 2 weeks her mother since then has tried to change it to every 3 weeks but the court declined
Hi there π
This must be grinding you down, I wish there was something constructive I could advise...you just have to keep at it and try and have faith that it will come right. All I can suggest is that you play the recording to CAFCASS when you go into their office later this month. You could also transcribe word for word what your daughter has said on the recording and file that with the court.
I feel so sorry for your little girl, its so frustrating and distressing when you know there are issues but no one seems to be listening, I know this from experience.
If you are unhappy with the way CAFCASS are dealing with your case you can complain and this can be done through their website, if you google CAFCASS complaints procedure it should link to the page you need. You can also complain about SS too, you could call them and ask to speak to their manager, or better still go into their offices and ask to speak to the manager personally. You might need to make an appointment and attend at a later date. If all else fails then you could go and see your local MP. They usually run surgeries every week for their constituents that need help. You would need to telephone and make an appointment, take all the paperwork in with you and any evidence you have, including the recordings. MPs can be very good at intervening and they can get results where all else has failed.
Best of luck with it tubby.
sorry people i haven't updated anytime soon but I've been having fun with my lil girl.
the court decided it was best for a shared residency order and everything should be halted. i can go into details if needs be and i can help any other fathers out there if they like.
i see it as i won as now i see my little girl every 2 weeks and i get her for holidays, and i did all that without a solicitor in court.
That's great news...well done!
Having fun with your little girl is by far more important π
Excellent news - when you get time, would be good to hear of your experiences, but as NJ says, your girl comes first π
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