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Hi
we have been together 20 years, have a 17 daughter and 10 year old son, I found out about the affair 4 weeks ago, we are trying to sort things out, mortgage living arrangments etc, she goes to his flat 2 times a week to stay over, and stays here the rest of the week, his flat is 5 miles away, so, she has told me he is not allowed to see his own 3 young kids unsupervised, only supervised contact centre, because of domestic violence, he has also been in prison for seriously injuring his ex partners bloke when he found out she was having an affair, i am concerned about the safety of my 10year old son, she tells me he has "aggression" problems, do I have the right to protect my son from this aggressive man, who my ex said has just made some "bad mistakes" in his life, and is a nice bloke!, regards
🙂 Hi there 🙂
You must be stunned, 4 weeks is no time at all.
In answer to your question, yes you do have the right to protect your son. If he cannot be trusted to be around his own children then the same should apply to yours too.
I think you need to get agreement from your wife that she will keep your son separate from her new boyfriend. I know its early days but have you thought about/discussed where and with whom your son will live? If your wife expects to have custody of your son then that could mean that he will be introduced to this man at some point and may even be expected to share a home with him. If this is unacceptable to you then I think you should take on board the possibility of going to court to get Residency (custody) of your son.
If you cannot reach agreement then you can try Mediation, heres a link ~ www.nfm.org.uk
Or if you are struggling as a family Relate are experienced in supporting families through separation and divorce, heres a link ~
www.relate.org.uk ....Both these agencies are child inclusive.
If you are hesitant to approach Childrens Services then you could telephone the NSPCC helpline and ask them for advice on what you can do now to protect your son. Heres the number ~
0808 800 5000. This is a 24/7 service.
Best of luck and if you need to talk we're here for you
Hi
Thank you Jane, so far she has stated that the kids will live with me, I have good stable job, can cover the mortgage, bills etc on my own, she is intending to rent locally, turns out she has only been seeing him 6 weeks, so when I found out she had only known him 2 weeks, and had already decided she was going to move out!!, I have told her my son cannot see him, she is not in agreement with this, though has told me she does not have a future with this new man!, what a mess it all is, but i'm sure it will all be resolved eventually.
Once again thank you for the advise 🙂
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
