Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I already think I know what needs to be done but Im posting in case there are any other options.
For some background, when together my ex and I would always argue about her not wearing her seatbelt (to the point where I would refuse to drive until she wore it while in the car and we'd sit and argue for 20 minutes waiting). Even after her crashing on a dual carriage way at 50mph, headbutting her steering wheeling and splitting her mouth open she still is very relaxed about wearing her seatbelt.
Obviously she can do what she wants now but a few weeks ago, when she was picking up our 8 year old, I noticed that when she got in the car my child, along with my ex's other child (3 years old) only had the bottom part of the seatbelt on while sitting in the front seat (it's a van so has 3 front seats). I saw my ex put the seatbelt on my child and put the shoulder strap behind her. I called her out on this and she flat out denied it despite me saying I saw her do it. We even asked our child if it happened and they said yes but only because the other child always does it.
Once again, today I've caught her not even putting the seatbelt on our child (or the other child) while leaving my house. I recorded this and have video evidence as clear as day.
I think my only option is to flag with the police but as you can imagine this will completely destroy any civil relationship we have. I don't see what choice I have though as I know my ex doesn't care for seatbelts, and I've already raised this once and was lied to about it. Are there any other options though? I suppose my worry is I report this, the police do nothing and she continues to not put seatbelts on the children - atleast in that scenario I know I've done the right thing.
Any advice?
I am not too sure what to suggest? Maybe call 101 or use the police chat service online to see what they say or maybe cal children's services and see what they say about it. If you havent already, drop your ex a polite message explaining your concern so at least you have proof you had mentioned it before. It is a massive risk to the children so it should be stopped.
I would say you definitely need to do something about it, aside from the massive risk she is taking with the children now, she's also instilling this behaviour into them for when they are older.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.