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Hello everyone,
I have just joined the forum and i find it quite inspiring the support you have on here for fathers. Thank you so much for that
I am married (or should i say was) with a 4 year old son. I came back one day to find my things thrown out because my wife said he is no longer interested in the marriage because she is bored, thus i should leave the house we bought together and stay out. I left without any fightor argument for fear of her saying i cannot see my son.
Since then i have been going to see my son everyday and i usually have to beg to see my son. She only contacts me to pick him up for school when i suits her or when her childminder disappoints her but its not a problem for me at all.
We have literally started the divorce process so she has made it clear to me she has more rights as a mother and can tell me what she wants me to hear or do
What i need more help about now is, my wife/exwife works full time and i work nigh shifts, within a space of 2 months, she has changed more than 4 childminders for my son to take him to school and care for him while she is at work. She keeps taking him from one minder to another without my consent. She also warns all the minders to not keep in contact with me whatsoever and if is hould pass by to check on my son, i should not be allowed. I have told her on several occasions that i am very capable of looking after our son while she works as i work at night. So i can pick up my son in the mornings to take to nursery, lookk after him till she returns from work and then i can go to work but she has refused blatantly. I have told her i do not want childminders looking after my son when i am available to look after him. I pay child maintenance and i even told her and i will not stop the maintenance if she is worried that me looking after my child would mean i will end the payments.
What upsets me now is she has once again changed his childminder to a completely new person once again without my consent and when once again i told her i can look after my son while she is at work, she refused. i used to drive up to the childminder's house, pick both her and my son to drop my son in school and then go back at closing time to collect Childminder to then go and pick up my son, my wife/ex has warned the childminder not to even talk to me lest of all sit in my car, so once i went to pick them up in the pouring rain but she refused and so had to watch her and my son in the pouring rain without an umbrella and my son geting soaked.
Until the court hearing happens, what is my current right as a father please..... my whole world seems to be falling apart from the with this woman is using my son to get back to me for what reasons i do not even kno what i hav done to her after 5 years of a marriage i thought was a content one.
Please help me!!!!!
I would say that you really do need to get to mediation about this - I'm not sure how this fits into the divorce proceedings, but you need to have a formal agreement of contact. At the moment, until a court hearing, she can do pretty much what she wants - she is supposed to encourage contact, but if she isn't the worst she'll probably get is a slap on the wrist.
Mediation is here - www.nfm.org.uk
I'd go and see a family lawyer, at least for an initial consultation, but I think you might need one for the way you ex is behaving.
Also worth reading this - 99p on Kindle