[Solved] confused grandfather needs a little help....

Hi and welcome to the forum.

This is an awful situation and the actions of social services are a surprise from what you have said. I would suggest that your son tries to escalate the case further up in social services, and I will ask the CCLC to comment also.

thank-u for your time in reading this..... my son now has been in contact with his girlfriend for being persistence , he has asked to see his daughter she has said yes but its got to be after 5 on ( this Friday ) ( in Norwich but we have to travel from Maidstone in which we are happy to do so)at her brothers girlfriends flat and if they ask him to leave if its only 5-10 mins later and if he refuses to do so they will call the police.... she is making terms and conditions without even a court order in place..... she will not allow our son to have company with him for support family or friend, my son has also tried to reason with her about this and she has refused point blank she has given us an address to go to....but no phone number so when we get there there is no way in getting in contact with her.... she said she has not got a phone but i know she change her number because she put it on Facebook saying to a friend who asked her if she change her number and said yes i inbox it to you..... and when this got mention she never replied... so who is stringing who along...... all my son wants is to see his daughter and have joint custody of his child and to be civilized to her and when it goes to court they both can say we have agreed to this and that.... and the courts could look at that in favor for both parents ... but she is dictating terms and conditions saying where and when and how long he can see his daughter .... and if i turn up there as well i am not aloud to see my grand-daughter what so ever so she said...... again thank-u for you time in reading this and i would like to say my thoughts are with everyone who is going through something similar

Dear martinjbdb5

Thank you for your enquiry.
We would need to know whether your son currently has Legal Representation on this matter.

We would be grateful if you could contact us to clarify this.

The link to our webchat is http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com and can be accessed Monday to Friday 9am-6pm. Alternatively you can contact us on our freephone advice line which is 0808 8020 008 and available Monday to Friday 8am-8pm.

Yours sincerely,

Coram Children’s Legal Centre

yes he has legal representation he tried for Resistance but the judge refused on the grounds that his girlfriend could of had a repeated prescription by a doctor where she is staying..... my son has been in contact with her as stated below she is staying with her brother and girlfriend's flat..... she has no money and she is not claiming any benefit's what so ever..... so how can that be the safety and the welfare of his daughter and our grand daughter with no money its been a month now.....

Hi

It is unusual for a judge to grant residence to the non-resident parent unless there are serious welfare concerns - social services will usually help the resident parent in the first instance, so I'm not too surprised that your son didn't get residence (I did get it, but I had taken my children away from their mother with the assistance of the police and the court was more than happy that the change in circumstances was in the children's benefit, and placing them back with their mother would not have been). I am more surprised that your son's solicitor went for residence but there doesn't seem to have been any order made for contact for what I undestand - is this the case?

hi events have changed now..... after a lot of talking we managed to get an address last week from her as we did say to her that the courts have put an order to the where a bouts of the child... she has not got no benefits in place.... she had told us and the SS that she lives with her brother and his girlfriend in a 2 bedroom flat, OK that's fair enough... we had made arrangements for us to go to Norwich she demanded that we go to the flat and we said no... public place where there is CCTV and loads of people around just in case anything kicked of after 3 phones call and an hr later her brother's girlfriend turned up with 3 friends stating that if we want to see the his daughter/grand-daughter then its the flat at the address we had been given.... anyway we went there and was aloud to enter then the brother locked the door behind us ( so yes he locked us in without telling us and against our will) this did cause tension my son wanted to go to the shops to buy his daughter something as he knows she loves biscautes and they refused saying the police and SS told them that they can do that..... and with that the police was called, the officers that we spoke to said to us that they would never say that to anyone what so ever..... and my son as he had her when the police arrived refused to had her over until she agreed to let him have her for a couple of weeks.... but she only agreed to 2 days..... he excepted that but was not happy.... so we left with his daughter .... on Saturday her pleaded with his ex girlfriend to let him have his daughter for a couple more days and she refused... and said i be down on Sunday and talk ..... another phone call he said can he stay she said no because there is another person living there and he has to get up at 6am to go to work.....no one told us about this my son dont know who this person is or what he look like but knows he aint part of the family so with that my and his daughter went missing for 3hrs and refused to hand her back because he does not trust her and because of the living conditions total amount of people living there and she has no money to support his daughter and the fact she lied about the police and SS said they can lock the door behind us... anyway my son has his daughter now and is per paired to go to court and get something in writing for everyone concerned on the welfare of there daughter

1. the Constance lie's to the police and SS
2. locking the doors behind us when we entered
3. living conditions on how many people living there ( as we where lead to believe it was her brothers girlfriends flat )
4.she has no money

the police where called on sunday and a welfare check was made and the police where more than happy to let my son have her.... so now i really think both party's now will have to settle this in court as every attempt on my sons part he has tried to sort things out with her she kept shutting the door in his face ( figure of speech ) and now he has her..... thats all she want to do is talk and he has had enough of her lies her terms and condictions and he has to prove to her he can cope and we as grand parents cant get involved in helping him and if we do he will not have her anymore ...

Hi there
I just wanted to comment on the role of Grandparents...We are important and being involved is our right! During my sons fight for his son, I was allowed to be involved. The police and SS listened to my opinion and were happy for them to stay with me. I went to court with my son and although I was not allowed into the courtroom, I was able to support my son and be with him during discussions with his solicitor and barrister. There is an important role for us to play... Just be there for your son and continue to give the unconditional support and love that we as parents/grandparents are so good at!

Hi, Im also a grannie fighting along side my son so he is allowed contact with his 3 yeaar old daughter. we cant afford solicitors and wont get legal aid so we are doing it ourselfs, we just want to see her without restrictions and rules and regulations. the mother has finally agreed to two saturdays a month 10 -5, but my son can only stay in the area she lives, this is in the middle of no where, weve asked and asked if we can have her overnight but its no, or maybe next year. She has recently moved 100 miles away from my son and its 50 from me, my son would have to do a 7 hour round trip by public transport, so is only option is to come to mine the night before and me take him to pick her up then drop him off at the nearest town then pick them up to take back, hes not even allowed to bring her back to my home
. Because she has stated she will call the police as she has claimed he has shouted at her she is now scared and will have him arrested, I have to be with him so she cant do this. All he wants his contact and for his dear daughter to be allowed to stay over . people have said just take her to my home but if she found out she would stop contact so we have no choice. we are submitting the c100 and c1 next week, we know its a waiting game . Good luck to you all and I hope it can all be sorted. At least we can come on here and rant. x

Good luck ak57...It can be a heartbreaking journey at times can't it, but with perseverance you will get there. My son now has Residency of my 5yr old Grandson, and we have watched him blossom over the last 16 months.

Grandparents are often overlooked and undervalued but I believe our real strength lies in working behind the scenes and bringing a steadying influence to the table ...Experience and patience are virtues that usually only come with age after all! I help to keep my son calm and focused, which is so important when dealing with the Social Services and the court system. It often seems unfair and biased towards the mother, but as we all know, lifes often unfair!

Martinjbdb5, at least your son has his little girl and thats a big step in the right direction. Remember to keep a diary of everything that is said and done by everyone involved, with dates and times, keep all txts and transcripts of any phone calls. It will help in court. Courts always want to see both parents working together for the best interests of the child, and your son must always be seen to be doing the right thing in that respect. Good luck!

Glad to see DadTalk has given you a place to be encouraged by another in a similar situation to your own. Keep us informed & hope it works out for both of you!