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Reporting a concern
It can be difficult to know what to do if you think a child is at risk. It’s important to remember that if you’ve spotted things that don’t seem right, others will have too. Speaking up can make sure that child gets help as soon as possible.
The sooner you contact your local children’s social care duty team, the quicker they can act. They’re available 24 hours a day, and can make an anonymous report if that feels safer. If a child is in immediate danger, please call the police straight away by dialling 999.
Report child abuse or neglect to your local council
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basically children's services are trying to split me and my partner up by scaring her with talk of legal action and removal of the kids, because i pose an 'indirect risk' or i might hurt them 'by accident' i think was said to her today by the social worker, which i think is ridiculous, here is a bit of insight,
last year i was attacked by my neighbor and his mate who set his rottweiler on me, came at me with a knife, and metal bar and both attacked me at the same time while the dog was mauling my arm, i panicked grabbed the knife by the blade and managed to get it off him , i pleaded with my neighbor to get the dog off me, but he just kept attacking me,so i ended up stabbing the dog to remove it, and ended up beating the 2 lads quite bad.
i did 11 months in jail, i was released 2 months ago to find that i am not allowed near my kids, my youngest 5 months old who was born while i was in jail, i have never seen before and my 3 year old, i haven't seen for 14 months. i think because it happened outside the front door and my son was inside, that is why they are making a fuss, even though i was attacked?
also i was caught with a knife about 10 years ago and now because of this they are saying its an escalation, me and my partner had an argument about 3 years ago which she punched me and i slapped her back this was reported to women's aid which her mum forced her to do as she was in a really violent relationship before me, which involved her being raped and beaten by her partner numerous times, and her mum thought it was happening again, even though i know i was wrong, this really did get blown out of proportion. because of her ex and his violence and he was still about when our son was born, our son went on the protection register, and i think my partner wasn't very good at sticking to her appointments, so he remained on the protection list, and then the attack happened outside the front door while my son was inside.
now the social worker has got to my partner taking about choosing between me and the kids, and talking about removal, they have told her if she remains in a relationship with me they will remove the kids, and she wouldn't be thinking about the kids safety, but when i speak to the social worker she has said that it can be sorted out, it will take time, they need to do a risk assessment, and i need to work with them to sort it out.
she has had my partner in tears numerous times when i was in jail, when she was heavily pregnant as well which i am not happy about,
i love my partner and kids more than anything in the world and would never let anything happen to them, anyone that knows me will agree with me, the first thing i did when my neighbors mate was kicking the door in was tell my partner to get my son and hide in the bedroom. i was looking forward to getting out of jail, moving my family out that area and getting on with our lives
has anyone experience the same treatment, were social workers have been saying one thing to one person and the complete opposite to the other,
and my main question is, there saying im an indirect risk and giving her the ultimate choice, me or the kids, can this ever be worked out to were we can be a happy family again,
if we stay apart and the kids get taken off the register , then we get back together will they be put back on the register?
i cant believe they would sooner split up a good loving family than get to know me, work with us and give me a chance to prove im not a risk, so the kids can grow up with a mum and dad that love them, these people are evil i don't know how some of them sleep at night, they must go through alot of ovaltine, i really hope that one day they realize there making a big mistake and they all feel bad for it. they haven't bothered to come and meet me properly ive only seen the social worker once, this situation is really getting me down
Hi Loz
Mate what a pickle. Sounds like you guys have really been through it recently.
I'm going to flag this thread up with our legal experts and also get our social worker expert to have a read and post their thoughts on here for you too.
This might take a short while so please bear with me.
Are you currently living in the same house or have you moved out? As hard as it might be the best thing to do for the sake of all is to move out until the situation is resolved. Have you spoken to the social worker directly? Do you have a probation officer as they might be able to support you in communications with the social worker too.
As I say let me get some folk to look at this thread and we'll get you some advice. Remember that the best things you can do right now is keep calm and try to see the long term game plan of living with your kids.
Hi
One problem you are up against is that there have been some high profile cases in the last few years where social services are percieved to have failed. They can have hundreds of successes, but a single failure is the one that will hit the headlines. This, combined with the massive workload that social workers have, means that they simply don't have the time to spend that they'd like to get involved in each case, so they are going for the simple fixes in a lot of cases as this gives them the highest success rate for protecting children, which is their prime concern.
All I can suggest is that you co-operate as much as possible with social services - meet as often as possible to work towards the outcome you want, but I think it will be a long process.
hi thanks for the replies
harveys dad;
when i got out of jail they put me in a probation hostel, i have a license condition not to enter there area as obviously the lads that attacked me live there and are my so called 'victims' as probation say.
i have spoken to the social worker many times on the phone from jail and in the last few weeks, every time i ask the same thing, can this be sorted out, and every time she says yes it will take time, just work with us, but then shes told my partner if she resumes the relationship she will have the kids removed, i honestly don't know what to believe.
im not even allowed to contact my partner, i wait for her to contact me, social worker said they want to give her time so she can make her mind up weather she wants to be with me, which she does and on hearing this they threaten her with removal, well what was the point in giving her time to make a choice, the only reason she was having doughts while i was in jail was because she was being scared by the social worker.
i do have a probation officer and shes really nice she got me out of jail early because she understood what happened. i actually changed probation officers because the first one was an ar***ole, he wrote in his report to social that he dosent think it was self defense, which obviously hasn't helped the situation, who gives him the right to say something like that anyway, he is not a judge or detective, and he wasn't there, but all the people i saw in jail, i have never known anyone to get out early.
the thing is communication between social services and other agencies seems to very poor, i have been waiting for social to do there risk assessment for 2 months, there now saying there not going to start it until my risk gets lowered, but the mappa board arnt going to lower it until social have done there risk assessment because there the ones saying im a risk, i think there all full off s**t to be honest they call themselves professionals and they cant even do a simple thing and communicate properly, social don't seem to know what is going on, and the social worker is the hardest woman to get hold of it took me weeks sometimes, to talk to her when i was in jail. she dosent reply to messages left by me, probation or my solicitor, my probation officer had to write a letter last week.
actd;
i agree with you, i have heard this same thing off so many people, an i always think the same, why should my kids, my partner and myself suffer because they have failed other children so badly, my partner is struggling like mad with 2 kids by herself she has no life of her own, my kids haven't seen me i haven't seen them. i think social need a big rethink, but my heart goes out to those kids like baby p, and ive seen a whole lots more since. it makes me sick when i here of some of the evil that goes on out there.
we are a young couple aswel so i think they may look at us as, cant think of the right word, immature?
weve got a legal meeting soon this should outline things better
Dear Loz,
Thank you for contacting the Children’s Legal Centre.
The Social Services have a duty to look into situations in their area where they believe children to be at risk and they are entitled to do so. Without knowing your situation in detail it is impossible to advise as to whether this is a situation which is likely to continue or whether there are steps that can be taken to reduce the risk and therefore lead Social Services to be happy for contact to take place.
Where there is no Care Order in place it is only your partner and potentially yourself (discussed further below) who have Parental Responsibility and it therefore is your partner who can make the decision as to who your children see. However it must be taken into account how Social Services will act should contact take place, should they feel that contact with you places the children at risk then they may decide that the risk is severe enough to warrant taking action to remove the children from your partner. They will do so because they feel that the mother is not protecting the children and is in fact placing the children at risk by allowing contact.
It may be that in time, once the Social Services have looked into this matter further that they will decide that contact is not a risk to the children. In some cases contact can be built up over time; it is impossible to give more detailed advice as we do not know your full situation and therefore cannot advise as to how Social Services are likely to act.
It would be advisable for you to seek the assistance of a local family solicitor with this matter, they would be able to communicate with Social Services on your behalf, establishing the exact position in relation to contact, the risk that Social Services feel exists and what steps would need to be taken for this risk to be alleviated. They will act on your behalf with a view to reinstating contact. It may be that you are eligible for legal aid in which case your legal costs would be covered.
Parental Responsibility
As the mother, your partner automatically has Parental Responsibility for the children. If the children were born after 31 December 2003 and you are named as the father on the birth certificate, or are married to their mother you automatically have Parental Responsibility for the children.
Parental Responsibility enables people to be fully involved in children’s lives enabling you to speak to schools, doctors and other professionals involved in the children’s lives. If you do not have Parental Responsibility you are able to obtain this by entering into a Parental Responsibility Agreement with your partner. You can do this by both going to your local County Court and completing the relevant form. If your partner will not enter into such an agreement you can apply for a Parental Responsibility Order; a family solicitor can make this application for you. Once you have Parental Responsibility Social Services should be keeping you informed of their involvement in relation to the children, although if they feel that advising you of this would place the children at risk, they will only give limited information.
We would advise that you seek the advice of a family solicitor in this matter.
We hope this information has been of use to you and wish you well as you take this matter forward.
Yours faithfully
The Children’s Legal Centre
ok made a bit of progress, had the legal meeting and should be able to see my kids next month, after the next conference, im glad but annoyed it has took 7 months,but its just a waiting game i guess
to childrens legal centre; can social services check phone records or messages? or apply to an agency who can or is this someone just talking rubbish again as i am not allowed to contact my partner someone has said that i am ringing her 20 times a day which is actually quite laughable, but i dont want people going through my phone records and reading my messages, aint that for terrorists and big time criminals
Hi loz
I think (but I could be wrong) that the police can access phone records, and the courts can order that the records are made available. However, I believe your ex can request from her phone company a record of incoming calls for a nominal fee, so you could challenge her to request this and produce it to back up her claims, and if she fails to do so, then it vindicates your position that you aren't calling her.
Another option would be to get records of your outgoing calls from your home and mobile phone, and tell the court that it contains numbers that you do not wish your ex to have, so you are happy to show it to the court, but not to share it with your ex. I don't know how it would go down with the court, but you would be giving the court the opportunity to see evidence of your innocence.