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I am a divorced Dad with two boys 14 and 6. I have been separated 6 years and divorved for 3 with a 2013 dated Child Arrangements Order with overnight care at weekends and half the yearly school holidays.
My ex-Wife has suffered bouts of depression, anxiety disorder and sadly has had to be sectioned a few times during the relationship and about half a dozen times in the 6 years since. Thankfully we have never had to pick up the debris from the emotional tremors this leaves myself and the children and indeed the mother, following these episodes.
There was however a very recent episode last January which led to a Section 2 and 4 weeks to discharge. My younger son's school's pastoral care workes very closely with me in ensuring that all went went. I was told by the school that a firm care plan will be in place championed by the school and with Mum, child services, her carers and representatives from my older son's school will be in attendance. I welcomed this and was very much looking forward to this. However, today, I receiced a letter from the school advising that this meeting will be arranged and the date communicated to me but in a sudden twist, the school's pastoral carer stated that she 'would seek Mum's approval to me attending this meeting'. A sudden feeling of being alienated crept in and then sadness. Can I challenge this decision? Mum has been deliberately obsructive in the past when making decisions concerning the emotional being of the children and of course her response will be 'No'. In putting a response to this letter, I am most uncertain about what to request and if there are any legalities involved. Perhaps someone in this forum has had an experience he would love to share?
Hi
I don't see why you shouldn't be present at this meeting but I have heard of this happening if one parent doesn't want the other to be there. Usually in Domestic Violence cases.
If the mother refuses, perhaps have a chat with children's services & the school and ask what they intend to do to keep you in the loop and perhaps also ask them for further explanation and to provide legal reasons in writing as to why they are not allowing you to attend.
There waa never any domestic abuse be it physical, financial or mental during the course of the relationship and during cross examination in court during proceedings, mother had maintained that this was an issue not to be considered. I am completely at a loss as to why the school would follow this trajectory.
I agree with Yoda, although school should treat all parents with parental responsibility equally, where there is conflict between those parents, they do err on the side of the primary parent; the parent that the child lives with.
I would ask the school/pastoral care worker for clarification on your position should she refuse. You could give the local education authority a call for a legal perspective, as well the child's social worker, to put it to them that if the mother has had recent Mental Health problems can you question if she is in the right place to make the choice about you being there and that to fully support your child, it's more important that you should attend.
Not sure if you've seen this recent sticky at he top,of the legal eagle section...
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