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Spurgeons and Dad.Info doesn’t investigate reports of abuse or neglect. But below, you can find advice on who to contact if you have concerns about a child or young person.
Reporting a concern
It can be difficult to know what to do if you think a child is at risk. It’s important to remember that if you’ve spotted things that don’t seem right, others will have too. Speaking up can make sure that child gets help as soon as possible.
The sooner you contact your local children’s social care duty team, the quicker they can act. They’re available 24 hours a day, and can make an anonymous report if that feels safer. If a child is in immediate danger, please call the police straight away by dialling 999.
Report child abuse or neglect to your local council
Use these links to get in touch with your local council:
Hi All,
Just signed up because Im in need of some advice on something to do with my son and wondered if any of you have had a similar situation and how you dealt with it.
My son is 7 and he lives about an hours drive from me, I see him every other weekend and have done for about 6 years. His Mum lives with her boyfriend and they have been living together with my son for about a year and a half.
Her boyfriend decided to buy my son a well known computer game thats age rated 18 and has a lot of bad things I would rather he didn't see in it. Her boyfriend also told my son that under no circumstances was he to tell me that he had the game. Anyway when I saw him he did tell me but also mentioned he had been told not to. I didn't say anything to his Mum at that point as I didn't want him to get in trouble for telling me (even though I strongly disagreed with him having the game) I didn't want to lose his trust by getting him in trouble.
Anyway my son has just told me that the Mums boyfriend made him own up to telling me about the game and when my son did own up, the Mum's boyfriend snapped the game disc in front of him. I know my son and this would have really upset him and I am really worried that they are damaging him by (a) allowing him to play inappropriate games and (b) demanding that he lies to me and then punishing him when he tells the truth.
I am in two minds as to whether to report it to social services or to talk to the mums boyfriend directly. I am worried if I talk to him directly I will lose my temper and end up doing something I regret. I also know that talking to them will have no effect because there have been numerous other incidents with his Mum where she just doesn't care what I have to say.
Has anyone had a similar experience? Any advice on what to do next?
Hi and welcome.
Have you thought about writing to his mother - you can re-draft it a couple of times before you send it, that way you can remove the anger from the initial draft and only send it once you're happy with it.
Hi,
Thanks for the reply and the suggestion. I think writing might be a good idea but I'm still not sure it would have the desired effect. Knowing his Mum she would probably just laugh at it or even throw it in the bin without reading it.
I know they have ultimate power over my son and the last thing I want to do is make it worse for him. I am inclined to go down the more formal route in the hope that social services or the NSPCC would pay them a visit. That will annoy them but at least they would know their behaviour is being monitored so they can't get away with this sort of thing.
I was hoping someone might be able to advise of any experience they have with raising things with social services and if it was effective or not?
This has been in the news recently, here's a link
http://news.sky.com/story/1454885/police-threat-over-children-playing-adult-games
Perhaps you could photocopy and provide a copy to the mother with the letter, let her know that you are very close to reporting this to the authorities and make it clear that you will not hesitate to do so if your son continues to be exposed to such inappropriate material.
Alternatively you could try and discuss it with his school and ask them if they have the same procedure as the schools in Cheshire for writing to parent on this issue.
Best of luck