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Reporting a concern
It can be difficult to know what to do if you think a child is at risk. It’s important to remember that if you’ve spotted things that don’t seem right, others will have too. Speaking up can make sure that child gets help as soon as possible.
The sooner you contact your local children’s social care duty team, the quicker they can act. They’re available 24 hours a day, and can make an anonymous report if that feels safer. If a child is in immediate danger, please call the police straight away by dialling 999.
Report child abuse or neglect to your local council
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I am new to all this, but could really do with chatting with anyone who has a teen (17) (adopted) daughter who has gone way off rails - tried to kill my partner, involved with drugs and gangs, removed by authorities, in her third abusive relationship.
Hi there
That does sound a terrible situation for you all... The extent and nature of the problem can only really be dealt with by professionals, and at 17 it would be very difficult to exert any influence over her, especially as she has been removed by the authorities.
Sometimes when young people are in a cycle of drug abuse, violence and criminality there's very little parents can do. It is up to her to want to change and until she does the situation isn't likely to improve. It's hard but sometimes you just have to put yourselves first.
Try and keep a line of communication open with her and let her know that you would support her if she decided to stop her destructive behaviour, but you won't stand by and watch her destroying herself....it's called tough love.
yes, there are professionals involved but I get frustrated as they seem so .. out of their depth with our daughter? In fact, there have almost been too many professionals, while not one of them seems to really 'get' the situation.
...I do understand and often there doesn't seem to be any continuity of care for young people, which gives them no opportunity to form relationships and build trust with the professionals tasked with helping them. It's often the case that they will leave things to reach critical before making an intervention, which then tends to be less effective than if they had been working in partnership to prevent such a crisis in the first place!
Without knowing very much about your daughter its difficult to make any suggestions or offer advice so I can only speak generally.....
Where is your daughter now? What are they doing to help....is she under supervision or under CAMHS or similar community strategy?
Hang on in there but protect yourselves too, as nobody cares for the carers and it's important you keep strong...I think consistency is important and introducing boundaries that must be well defined and adhered to. As I mentioned, communication is important, she shouldn't feel that the door is closed to her but she must also be helped to take responsibility for her actions and realise that everything has consequences. The harder she pushes against life the harder it will push back and often this can create a circle of bad choices.
We all make mistakes and I get the feeling that growing up in the 21st century is a lot harder than it was when I was a surly teenager...it's a pretty confusing world and it sounds like she is under pressure from her peers to behave in a certain way. Try to help her realise that she can turn things around and you will help her, but the first step must be hers.
I think she needs to be encouraged, and to feel that there will be opportunities for her if she wants to take them but that nothing worth having is gained without some effort and some give and take.