DAD.info
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:

Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.

Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.

If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help

When should I stop ...
 
Notifications
Clear all

[Solved] When should I stop paying the extra things?

 
(@Dadneedshelp)
New Member Registered

My ex keeps asking for more money for extra things like school uniform and after school clubs and summer clubs. This is on top of the regular amount that I already pay her directly. Is it possible to have an agreed amount that I pay each month and not be asked to pay more on top?

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 17/07/2016 12:26 am
(@T135T0)
Reputable Member Registered

Hi,

I am no expert but from what i believe you only have to legally pay what the CSA tell you to, any extra is at your discretion. Its just the moral side of things that may be a factor.

Paul

ReplyQuote
Posted : 17/07/2016 1:20 am
(@othen)
Reputable Member Registered

Good morn,

I think T135T0 is right, the state considers the mandated CM to be your contribution to the child's upbringing.

It is up to individuals, but I always contribute as much as I can to my son's welfare (he lives with me very nearly half the time, so maybe things are a bit different). Occasionally my son's mother has asked for a contribution towards things like school trips, my response has always been to ask her to send me the whole bill and I'll pay it if she can't afford it (which of course she can). Usually there is a change of heart then and she becomes embarrassed about asking for money she does not need.

Best wishes,

O

ReplyQuote
Posted : 17/07/2016 10:59 am
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Hi there

As said, if you were paying via a statutory arrangement via the CMS the amount they calculate that you should pay is all you would be required to pay. Have you used the CMS calculator to check that you are paying about the right amount? Here's a link just in case

www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

If you are unhappy with the situation you can open a case with the CMS and ask them to sort out the amount, you would have to pay an initial £20 admin fee for this service but it might settle things.

Obviously you wouldn't want your child to go without so a small discretionary contribution occasionally wouldn't hurt as long as you can afford it.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/07/2016 1:52 am
(@Child Maintenance Consultant)
Noble Member Registered

Hello Dadneedshelp

If you have a statutory arrangement in place, you are not expected or legally obliged to pay any more than you are asked to pay.

If you have a family-based arrangement in place, there are no set rules to follow. This type of arrangement can include things like school uniform and after school clubs. It should be something that you both agree to of course.

As mentioned previously, if you cannot agree between yourselves, there are other options including the Child Maintenance Service who can calculate a maintenance payment for you.

If you would like more information about the options available and to receive a more personalised service, you can contact Child Maintenance Options directly, http://www.cmoptions.org.

The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a web application, ‘Sorting out separation’. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation

Regards

William

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/07/2016 2:52 pm
Share:

Pin It on Pinterest