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Hi all,
New here and first post. Im looking for some advice?
My partner left the relationship 5 days after our daughter was born - long story short - interfering mother in law who couldn't give any space, then had to take to court to get meaningful access, which has just concluded. now 8 months down the line, my ex is planning to go back to work 3 days pw with our daughter in nursery for those 3 days. Having only 5 days experience I have very little knowledge of what the true actual cost of the baby is i.e how much extra gas & electric, food, nappies pm
I am currently paying the more than the 15% salary maintenance voluntary (£300pm) i.e not through CSA which I certainly don't have an issue with.
My concern is that my ex is now also asking for half of the nursery costs when they come around which will mean paying another £275pm. (nursery is £570)
After doing a few calculations on what benefits my ex is entitled to, salary and my maintenance, even though she is on less pa than myself - all in all she will potentially be coming out with £900pm than me a month for working 3 days pw - unless I have the benefits calculator wrong.
What is maintenance supposed to pay for? Is it supposed to include nursery fees and how do you guys go about it?
I was thinking of paying an extra £100pm when my daughter goes to nursery to try and be fair - however this will leave me extremely tight on money, but I want to be the best dad I can, without being judged as tight. It just seems im going to be scrimping and have very little to move my forward with while she could potentially living the life of luxury - I really don't mean to sound bitter, and I'm more than happy to split everything 50:50 but it seems the system screws us dads over through no fault of our own?
What are your experiences? Are they similar or have I got things drastically wrong?? Does your maintenance cover child care too?
Thanks in advance
Chris
My understanding is that maintenance should cover all the above including nursery doesnt your child qualify for the free 15 hours per week?
Hi There,
.
As slim says maintenance, is paid to the mother and should cover your share of the babies expenses, it's then your choice if you pay additional, if you were to go through CMS, they would award an amount and legally that's all you have to pay, as said unless you choose to pay more.
.
GTTS
Hi both,
Thank you for your replies.
Having a quick look, my daughter wont qualify for the free 15 hrs as she will only be 1 when she goes into nursery, and I believe that starts at 2yrs.
However, I think my ex may qualify for tax credits that have a support with childcare element.
Thanks for your help, I don't feel quite as tense about the finance situation now.
Chris
Hi,
.
Glad your not so tense, if you wanted to contribute, it may be worth checking with your employer to see if they do a salary sacrifice against child care vouchers, if the nursary take them which I think most do, the sacrifice would be taken before you were taxed so what ever you agree to pay will cost you less. your ex may also be able to do the same cutting the total cost down.
.
GTTS
Hi cfu04
Thank you for your post. To answer your question, child maintenance is a contribution towards the cost of bringing up a child and this includes not only such items as food and clothing, but also it is a contribution towards the home that the child lives in and the associated costs of running that home.
With you and your ex-partner agreeing child maintenance privately via what we call a family-based arrangement, both of you have the freedom to decide how much child maintenance that will be paid and the form that it will be paid in. Even though a family-based arrangement is not legally-binding, it gives parents the freedom to decide when their child maintenance will be reviewed (such as if there is a change in either of your circumstances).
If the Child Maintenance Service is used, paying parents are legally responsible to pay what the Child Maintenance Service calculate. However, the paying parent is not obliged to pay for anything extra unless they choose to do so.
To discuss child maintenance in more detail, you may wish to get in contact with Child Maintenance Options. You can find their contact details listed on their website at http://www.cmoptions.org.
You may be interested to know that the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a new web application, 'Sorting out Separation'. It aims to make it much easier for separated parents to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.
Kind regards
William
Crumbs one year old is a bit young to be put into nursery me and the ex were ummming and arrrring on wether to put our 2 year old in one so soon what's the reason your ex wants to put your child in so early?
I 80% of childcare is paid for by the tax credits.
I'm a working parent receiving this, so you need to tell her you know she receives this.
Nappies - £18 a fortnight for mine.
Wipes - £8 for a pack of 12
Baby food - next to nothing cause you can make your own for pennies using veg etc...
Milk - £9 a week.
That's not including rent, gas, electric, water etc... Which adds up to usually around 300 quid.
If she is a single parent on her own though she will get help with her rent.
Not to mention she will get child benefit, child tax and working tax which adds up too a nice lump.
All I get is 20 quid a week off my ex. It doesn't make a dent, but it helps.
£300pm sounds extreme but if that's voluntarily that's your choice, she wouldn't get near as much through child maintenance.
I would definitely try talking about all this if it's leaving you broke, most dads hardly pay a penny so don't worry about being tight.
Maintenance only goes by what you earn, they don't take into account childcare costs, they just take a cut determined on your wages each week/month and how often you have the child overnight. That's it.
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