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Apologies if this question comes across as bitter... but that's how I'm feeling right now.
First, a bit of background info. I split from my wife about 3 years ago. I won't go into details around why we split but she was to blame :dry:
We have a 15 year old son and agreed to a shared custody on a 50 / 50 basis, one week on one week off. We sold the house we'd lived in and both took 50% of the equity even though I paid the mortgage solely, as I accepted she wasn't working for several years whilst bringing up our child .
Because we share custody evenly we didn't involve the CSA and naively thought that there wouldn't be any child maintenance payments required. Recently, however, her money-grabbing divorced friends have told her she should go to the CSA as she can get some free cash.
So, today, I've been on the CSA website and used their calculator and it seems that despite sharing everything 50 / 50, I am going to have to pay her about £300 per month. :unsure:
My question is... what exactly is this money supposed to be for? As we're sharing custody evenly it's not as if she has bills to pay that I don't. I don't have any objections whatsoever to paying for things for our child and I've already been paying for his school meals, trips away, etc... but it seems as though I'm now going to be potentially funding her nights out with her new boyfriend. Is there any way that I can dictate where the money must go, such as I pay it into a trust fund for our child rather than it going into her bank account?
Hi BaT 🙂
CSA is payable to the Parent With Care, what that actually means is the parent that gets the Child Benefit payment.
The system stinks, the CSA behave like [censored] gangsters running a protection racket! They do not recognise people's outgoings and don't seem to care about the havoc they cause!
You have no say in what the money is spent on and if you refuse to pay they will take it directly from your wages! 😡
The only thing you can do is try and mediate with her, if you are still amicable then she might listen to reason. As your son is 15 perhaps you could involve him in the discussion and maybe agree to paying the money into a trust fund for him for University or just as a nest egg for him. As you have a 50/50 share of custody, ask her if she would be prepared to share the child benefit or maybe let you claim for the tax credits.
To add to NJ's reply - the CM covers everything pretty much, or should do, so if you pay her CM, then she should be paying for school meals, clothes, school trips etc - you shouldn't have to pay anything else beyond the maintenance. Sometimes, it's not always practical to carry that out, but at least you know.
Hi
I am William the Child Maintenance Options consultant. You have mentioned that you currently have a family-based arrangement in place for child maintenance and have shared care of your son. You would like to know what child maintenance payments are for.
Child maintenance is a contribution towards the cost of bringing up a child and this includes not only such items as food and clothing but also it is a contribution towards the home that the child lives in and the associated costs of running that home. As child maintenance is paid to the parent with the main day-to-day care of the qualifying child or children, it is therefore controlled by the person best placed to determine that child’s needs. Under the law as currently drafted, the Child Support Agency (CSA) cannot intervene in this matter.
The CSA can reduce the amount of child maintenance that is paid, if the child stays overnight with the paying parent on average at least one night a week. The reduction will take in to account the number of times the child stays overnight.
If the child spends an equal amount of time staying overnight with each of their parents, the parent who receives Child Benefit for the child can still apply for child maintenance. The other parent would then be classed as the paying parent. The CSA then works out how much child maintenance should be paid using their normal processes. The amount that both parents contribute towards the everyday living costs of the child will be taken in to account.
I can see you have used our online calculator and the figure provided was £300 per month. You may wish to redo the calculation again and check that you have selected the 176 nights or more. If this correct and an application was made to the CSA, you would only be required to pay that amount nothing extra.
You can use our online calculator on this link http://www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/ to see how much maintenance you may have to pay. You can use this figure as a starting point on your negotiations with your family-based arrangement.
There is a Sorting out separation web-app on our website at http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation that you may find useful as it offers help and support to separating families
Alternatively, if you prefer a confidential chat with one of our agents, you can call us on our freephone number 0800 988 0988. We are open Monday to Friday 8am to 8pm and Saturday 9am to 4pm.
I hope this helps.
William
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