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If you do decide go to court, don't say you weren't warned. She isn't going to stop claiming maintenance based on what you've said, and all that will happen is you will see your children less.
I do think having an amicable conversation with making it clear you don't want to go to court is the best way as you court end up with less contact time but still pay cms..
You ex may just decide that rather than current arrangement which is to split contact 2 ways, it is split 3 ways to include her parents.. even if you apply to the courts, you may be successful but lose time in the meantime but also impact relationship not just with ex but her parents too..
How much CMS is she requesting? Maybe negotiate with her in good faith s9 that it is a token amount to you (appreciate I don't know ur finances) but almost a victory for her.
Thanks
Can I ask why I'd lose contact?
Of the 2 of us I'm the one who does most the driving, teaching him manners and respect, doing his homework, watching his diet, keeping him active. For the year before we split I worked from home and was in full charge of his day-to-day she was barely involved.
She doesn't care for his health just feeds him junk food constantly (she's a very big girl herself), swears in front of him, lets him play games/watch TV all day, doesn't bother with his education. Got a drug dealer boyfriend who moved in with them a month after getting together and they soon split up. If we have a disagreement she'll say stuff like I don't deserve him and I'm a terrible dad and she says this right in front of him.
And last time I dated a girl she said our son would never meet her and stopped me seeing him just in case I do introduce her. I can't even date anyone haha
I've never done anything in retaliation I just put up with it for our son's sake. Even still lend her money or do her favors regarding schedule whenever she asks to keep us on good terms.
Sorry for the rant haha I feel if the courts knew exactly how she was then they'd happily let me have split time.
She'd get about £90 a month due to the days I have him. Did ask her why she's going for it and she said she feels like I'm laughing at her as I do have a decent income while she's struggling.
Even tho she works 35 hours a week for her parents off the books.....she's just terrible with money and doing it because she can. I'm struggling too but get no help from government/parents. That's why the idea of CMS feels wrong to me. It'd just go towards creating more debts for her parents to bail her out of
Correct me if I'm wrong tho 🙂
I have not been to court for a similar situation, but I did post recently that in my case, whilst thinking I would have my chance to explain all to the judge and have him hear what a b**** my ex had been, I had no such chance.
If this is the general case then I doubt you will get a chance to advise the workload you have compared to your ex. and it could appear to the judge like a case of trying to pay less Child Maintenance and not go in your favour.
So I think the point others are making is to be careful, court could result in it being construed as you being the problem, because they do not have time to consider who is right, who is wrong, who is telling the truth, who is not.
Tread carefully is the sensible approach.
Understandable tbh I imagine there's a lot of swindlers going in and out of the courts
Sucks for me though haha
So lets say she wants the schedule to go down, me having him only weekends for example
What are the odds of me going to court and getting the schedule done then?
I know 100% if I pay her £90 a month she'll just want more, in the form of me having him less days
you may lose time with kids, as in as soon as your ex gets court papers, she may become very hostile and stop you seeing kids. that will make her look stupid in court, but not a nice situation for you to be in,if that happens for few months.
if you have any phone messages/email trail agreeing how many days you have child, keep that as evidence. you can tell court what days you have been seeing child over past year etc, if your ex tries to cut down your days. if you do go to court, then ask for more days/time with child. don't mention maintenance at all.
Ahh there's no way she'd stop me seeing him tbh
Best evidence I have atm is me saying "I'll start having him on Friday nights instead of him staying your parents then? as it is my day with him"
and her reply..."You're horrible for taking time away from my parents!"
Would you say that's decent evidence the Friday nights are clearly "my" day?
Unfortunately with the schedule we have 0 contact at all.
I pick him up from school, have him for a few days until she picks him up. There's no communication or messages etc detailing this :S