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I'm sure you hear this all the time but I am looking for some impartial views on my situation to give me some comfort that I'm not behaving unreasonably, I understand everyone's situations are different and it's difficult to comment without all the facts but I will try and and be as clear as possible. I have two boys who live with their mother and her new husband and I have always had regular weekend and holiday contact, I pay maintenance based on my share of residency and taking account of other dependants who live with me and my wife (her children). Both my boys are in 6th form (ages 17 & 18) and the eldest wants to apply for university, my ex wife now expects me to be the majority sponsor for his expenses at University as I earn more money than her despite the fact that their household income is greater than mine, both households have income greater than the child benefit threshold and grant threshold. I have said I am willing to contribute but to be fair this would be an equal share based on the household incomes, my stepdaughter who lives with me is also planning to go to University and her father refuses to contribute anything so we will be financing her 100%. Of course I wish the best for my children but I feel it's very unfair to expect me to be paying the majority of his costs, plus my youngest son is also likely to be going to Uni when he finishes 6th form so it will double my outgoings. Has anyone else been in a similar position or have any thoughts on my situation ?
Hi there
I think it's really down to affordability. The CMS rules, if you were paying via them, are that maintenance stops when a child enters advanced full time education, which applies to University. If a dad is in a position to help financially at this stage then they usually make direct payments to the child.
I think it's fair to take each households income into account and contribute accordingly.
Hi Scunookie
Thank you for your post. I am William the Child Maintenance Options consultant. I will provide some information that may help answer your query.
As Mojo as mentioned, under the statutory rules regular child maintenance payments must be made until a child is 16 years old, or 20 if they are in full-time, non-advanced education (A-level or equivalent), or for as long as Child Benefit is being paid. When a child leaves full-time education in the summer, Child Benefit generally continues until the first week of September. You can find more information on when child maintenance stops on Gov.uk at https://www.gov.uk/when-child-maintenance-payments-stop.
However, if you and your children’s mother have agreed child maintenance privately via a family-based arrangement, there are no strict rules to stick to. Therefore, both of you have the freedom to decide the terms of your own arrangement, such as you will provide for your children when they are a university and when your payment to her will stop.
A family-based arrangement can include money and other kinds of support, such as you directly paying for things that your children may need. Although family-based arrangements are not legally-binding, many parents prefer them because of their flexibility and ease of which they can be reviewed. You can find more information on family-based arrangements on our website at http://www.cmoptions.org/en/family/index.asp.
If your child maintenance is being managed by either the Child Support Agency (CSA) or the Child Maintenance Service, you may wish to contact the respective organisation that you are using to discuss when your payments may stop. You can find the relevant contact details on any letters that you may have received or for the CSA on Gov.uk at https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance/contact.
Where child maintenance has been set up using the courts, in the form of a Consent Order or Minute of Agreement (for parents that live in Scotland), you may wish to review the terms and conditions of your arrangement to clarify how you will support your children while they are at university. To do this, you may wish to seek legal advice.
For more information on the ways to set up child maintenance, please visit our website at http://www.cmoptions.org. Alternatively, you can call us free on 0800 988 0988 between 8am and 8pm Monday to Friday or 9am and 4pm on a Saturday. We have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.
Regards
William
My ex wife insists that she is only prepared to fund his university costs as a proportion of her earnings to mine, ignoring total household income, her household income is greater than mine but her personal income is less than mine. She has always been the resident parent and therefore received all benefits and maintenance etc to date and remains the resident parent.
I find this attitude very unfair but don't know where I stand, is there any legal route I can take which would take a view on household income rather than biological parents, as this is the measure by which all funding and grants is based on.
I'm not aware that there is actually any legal obligation on you to provide at all - might be worth having a word with the university or the student loan company as they probably come across this quite a bit
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