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I'm in the minority here and am a mother being hounded by the CMS to pay maintenance. My child chose to live with her father due to a move as she wanted to be close to her friends . Previously she lived with me and I received nothing from the ex. She is now 17 and continuing further education. I have worked hard to build my career with nonsuppprt from the ex, he hardly ever saw her and never contributed . We had a clean break divorce and by mutual agreement agreed never to chase each other for money. He has now gone behind my back and reported me to the CMS who are demanding a ridiculous amount based on earnings three years ago. If I pay it leaves me with just £500 a month, my mortgage is nearly that but the CMS do not want to know. What makes it worse is that he is deliberately lying about the amount of nights my daughter stays with me- CMS takes his word over mine and will not even listen to my daughter confirming the nights. I will give up my job that I have worked hard for rather than pay this ridiculous amount. Him and his wife both have high salary jobs but apparently this is not taken into account
Hi there
Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do about reducing the amount as it's worked out on a percentage of gross income. Have you tried using the online calculator to see if their calculations are correct?
As far as the number of overnights, if there's disagreement the CMS will take the default position of one overnight and calculate the amount based on that.
The receiving parents income, and that of their partner, isn't taken into account, this is the way it is I'm afraid. It's the responsibility of both parents to support their children financially where possible and you are having the same set of rules applied to you, as many fathers do as the paying parent.
It's seems a bit extreme to give up your job, could you try and negotiate with the father and come to an agreement to pay a lesser amount, as a family based arrangement, rather than through the CMS? If your daughter is willing to talk to the CMS, might she not hold some sway over her Dad, could she speak to him on your behalf?
If you read the many posts we have about dads left in this position, you'll see that you're not alone.
I agree with mojo, if you have a good career, then it would be silly to give it up now when maintenance will stop in 3 years at the most. If you can come to a family bases arrangement as mojo suggests, then that's the best solution, otherwise it might be a matter of finding a way to manage for the next 3 years and then paying off any debts after that.
This may be a long shot but if you still have contact with your child and your relationship is solid then I would goto her and explain your situation, she is a young adult now and could help you. I dont agree with bringing kids into the war zone but if its going to effect your relationship with your daughter due to the stress this can cause then its a lesser of two evils. You your child and your ex she then sit down and have a civil conversation about payments and what is affordable to you and him. If he is a good father he would not risk loosing his daughter's trust down to money.
Hi
I'm a mother in the other boat, so to speak.
Two things I would advise:
1) check that HMRC have your latest earnings on record ie FY 2016/17 should be with them. That is the sum that should be used to calculate maintenance rather than data from 3 years ago.
2) is the maintenance to be paid under Direct Pay or Collect and Pay? ie have the CMS just calculated the amount to be paid and then leave you to it or will they be involved in collecting the maintenance? If the latter, you can contest it.
Don't give up your career. It will last far longer than the maintenance payments. I would also offer to pay what you can afford if nothing else as it shows you aren't trying to avoid your financial responsibility but are struggling to manage the payments.
If you're not getting any joy, try to speak with your MP or local CAB office. They can often help you to deal with the CMS.
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