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Hi all.
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post but I'm sure it'll be moved if it's wrong.
I just want people's thoughts and opinions on a matter that's bothering me.
So here's the back story...
Separated and divorced from the wife with two small children
We still get on well and there are no issues communicating.
The children technically live with her but spend 2/7 days week 1, 5/7 days week 2 rolling etc etc with me.
I currently have a private agreement with her with which I pay the csa figure of £156 p/m.
On top of that, they get whatever they need like clothes, bikes, toys etc.
The children are healthy and happy and want for nothing, possibly spoilt but that's neither here nor there.
Although we have a set routine, she does change things from time to time although I'd never moved a single date/time.
I've recently moved in with my partner who also has a child.
The ex is soon to move in with her partner who has two children.
I'm being asked for money for big school trips, school uniform etc also.
So my questions are...
Why am I paying her anything when we both have the children for pretty much half the time?
Does the payment I make each month not cover those extra expenses?
Do I have a reason to be annoyed about it? Or should I shut up?
I don't begrudge anything to the children, they can have the shirt off my back but I do get disgruntled when I work full time and have little to show at the end of the month but she works part time and drives a brand new car and goes off drinking every weekend.
Any thoughts and advice are greatly appreciated.
Yes, your payment should cover anything the children need. However, whether you pay over that figure is up to you. I would consider whether the children will miss out if you don't contribute to those things and if it's worth doing. Make sure you are paying the right amount based on the amount of overnights your children have with you.
Hello Just
To make you aware, the Child Support Agency (CSA) stopped accepting applications for child maintenance in 2013 - they have been replaced by the government’s new statutory service, called the Child Maintenance Service.
There is no requirement to pay statutory maintenance when both parents have equal day-to-day care, in addition to sharing overnight care, of their children. Equal day-to-day care is where the overall care arrangements for a child are shared equally and not just where the child stays overnight an equal amount of time with the paying parent (shared care).
If an application was to be made to the Child Maintenance Service in the future and they were to decide that care is shared, not equal i.e. maintenance is payable, you would only legally be responsible for the amount worked out by them, and would not be obliged to pay for anything extra.
You have mentioned that you have recently moved in with your partner, who has a child. If your partner is the main day-to-day carer for your stepchild, this change in circumstances is likely to reduce the amount of child maintenance you would be expected to pay, based on the Child Maintenance Service’s guidelines. The Online calculator - along with a range of other tools and guides - on the Child Maintenance Options website at http://www.cmoptions.org can provide you with a useful starting point for renegotiating your family-based arrangement.
For information on all the different ways to set up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website.
The DWP have a sorting out separation website that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: https://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/.
Regards
William
Thanks for the replies.
According to the online calculator,I pay more than is required/expected.
I don't like arguing over money regarding the kids but don't like feeling like I'm being taken for a mug.
I just wanted to know if I was doing/thinking the right thing.
Thanks
Your situation is very similar one to my own and yes you have every right to be annoyed..
My advise to you is don't use the maintenance calculator, scrap it completely, it's not a true reflection of costs and will be used against you at every opportunity going forward. This is especially prevalent if you have your children 50/50.
If you have a decent relationship with your children's mother then work out a family based agreement based solely on your children's requirement costs. After 12 years of separation from my son's mother we have only just implemented this method, as before we used the calculator and it caused no end of problems for so many reasons.
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