DAD.info
2 homes, one priority: your child - Join the free Parenting After Separation course
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
2 homes, one priority: your child - Join the free Parenting After Separation course
Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:

Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.

Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.

If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help

This is how I stopp...
 
Notifications
Clear all

[Solved] This is how I stopped Child Maintenance with 50/50 shared care

Page 5 / 6

Posts: 6
Registered
(@carmad)
Active Member
Joined: 3 years ago

I just found this forum today, what a great forum......

I am having the same issues as many of you with CMS....My wife divorced me due to my Mental health issue and we sold our family home back in DEC 2020. We split the money 50/50 and she took everything from the house. Cut along story short I met a lady and that triggered my battles with the CMS back in August 21. I phoned them many times to explain I have both my boys 50/50 (Fri-Fri) I do all the school runs, have their uniforms at my house take them to all their out school sports, even changed my work hours, etc. I was told on the phone on many occasions they would contact my ex to check what I was saying was true. I never heard anything from them or my ex about any payments again. Roll on to May 22 and I told my ex that I introduced my partner to my boys, then it started all over again.

My ex has told them I have never made payments (never mentioned it to me before), so they are now going to take money directly out of my wages monthly. This is so stressful as it will make looking after my boys difficult financially (selling the car to help this). I requested all data that CMS had on me including call records and they have no record of any of my calls from 21. I am currently pending a decision on a complaint with CMS and have written to Child benefits asking for an 'Underline Entitlement' to be placed.

I have to confess I feel this is my fault as I trusted my ex as we agreed 50/50 on money etc. I have offered to help her should she need any money, but she has become so vindictive, now it's become about money and not the boys or my mental health struggles.

Do you guys all have a court order in place regards the children's care being 50/50? It appears even if you have one the CMS can still take money?

I am currently phoning CMS daily trying to get them to make a decision on my case, only then can I take it to the next stage. My real issue is I need to stop the first payment coming out next month as it will be a real struggle until I sell my car.

Reply
5 Replies
(@dadmod2)
Joined: 6 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 5316

@carmad hi, did you stop paying maintenance at any point during these contacts with CMS? if so then, they would go to next stage and put you on collect and pay, with the 20% charge. I would recommend this group for CMS support:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/239699060076601

Reply
Registered
(@carmad)
Joined: 3 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 6

@bill337 Hi, I have never paid child maintenance as after my calls with CMS I never heard anything back, just 2 letters from them one with a ridiculous figure that they said I had to pay and then another with a reduction. I stupidly thought it had been dealt with following my calls with them as never received any further correspondence until my ex started it all again in May/June 22. I have had my boys 50% from the day we moved out and I explained that to CMS on every phonecall.

Reply
Registered
(@samaugier)
Joined: 3 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 6

@carmad hello. I’m in a similar position. I have been separated for 12 years, now gone through divorce. I have my girls over 50% of the time. My ex only recently started a claim for child maintenance because she was denied spousal in divorce. This claim despite me already paying for 50% of her mortgage, paying most things for the girls, sourcing and paying school uniforms, taking them to doctor, dentist, opticians etc. The system doesn’t look at the entire facts until pressed and is broken in my opinion  

Have you tried a Mandatory Reconsideration (MR) with CMS? If that gets rejected (they told me they are purely evidence based so the more you can prove you do, the better your chances), you can then go to tribunal. It might be that you’re out of time for an MR and tribunal because there’s been an extended period since it was first claimed without any  appeal from you. These claims are revised annually so if you can prove change in circumstances etc, it might be you can start a mandatory reconsideration.

I had a very empathetic senior case worker on the phone last week who believes my story but am still in this challenge. It pays dividends to keep contacting them and keeping up the sharing of evidence on all you do etc. 

By the way, “equal shared care” seems to be considered by the CMS as the non-residential parent (or paying parent) having the kids more than 52 nights / year. It’s absolute madness. I have my kids 185 nights per year. The system is based on “day to day care” rather than number of nights it seems but in my book, the 2 are inseparable. So child maintenance is awarded to the parent who does doctor, dentist, school work etc rather than number of nights. But you have to prove everything. That’s why if a decision can’t be made, the child maintenance defaults to the parent who gets child benefit. 

hope that helps. Good luck…

Reply
Registered
(@samaugier)
Joined: 3 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 6

2/2 

So there’s 2 other options for you. First, put a claim in for Child Benefit if you haven’t already. And second, you could look at getting a court order to confirm you have the kids 50% of the time and the day to day care you provide. The CMS told me they will mostly default to either Child Benefit or any court order. 

Reply
Registered
(@carmad)
Joined: 3 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 6

@samaugier Hi, this is why I am pushing them to make a decision as the next step will be the Mandatory reconsideration and then a tribunal should that fail. My concern is they've back dated it even though I been telling them about the 50/50 arrangement since 2021. One advisor said I could go to small claims court to get my money back off my ex! It's such a joke! I called them lastweek requesting all my calls from 21, they haven't even updated the portal with acknowledgment of my call. The thing is so stacked against us, I have my boys for well over half the year and only go on holiday with them unlike my ex who goes with her friends, just ridiculous.

I am waiting on benefits to get back to me strangely enough I just received a text from them, informing me they will write to me with a decision. CMS currently is waiting on their response to make a decision on change of carer, could it be anymore painful 🙂

 

Thanks for taking the timeout to respond.

Reply
Posts: 6
Registered
(@carmad)
Active Member
Joined: 3 years ago

Got rejected today, I only found out as I was uploading more evidence, no text message nothing. I only spoke to CMS yesterday where I was told "My ex is not accepting 50:50". It's strange how they just take her word fo it and I have to provide proof.

I am now on hold CMS trying to speak to someone and I guess I will have to wait for letter until I can raise a Mandatory reconsideration. In the meantime HMRc is taking payments from my wages. I just hope I can get them back sometime soon.

Reply
2 Replies
Registered
(@samaugier)
Joined: 3 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 6

@carmad sorry to hear that. It's shocking how one sided this process is and how much this is about the CMS taking the easy route due to
lack of investment/resource. I've been signed off work due to the stress and burnout this is causing me. I've applied to tribunal now to try and get this over turned. Keep at them though. I eventually got through to a senior case worker recently who listened and heard my story and said she cant understand why the case hasn't been closed. But it hasn't been yet and so the fight continues.

Reply
Registered
(@carmad)
Joined: 3 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 6

@samaugier Hi mate, I been off sick for 5 days for  exactly the same reasons as you. All the doctor can advise is I increase my meds. Please reach out if you're stressed out, before you know it you'll be on meds like me, 11 years and still on them.

Like I said PM me if you want a chat, happy to listen and maybe help.

Sunny

Reply
Posts: 6
Registered
(@carmad)
Active Member
Joined: 3 years ago

Just a quick update, I have raised a mandatory reconsideration, even asked my employer for an email/letter acknowledging the fact I have changed my working arrangements to WFH the week I have the boys. Just something I can upload to CMS, I know i maybe 'clutching at straws' but willing to try anything. All I get is "I need to supply evidence" but never told what. I have offered to take photos of my boys uniforms, bedrooms, to prove the setup they have. I have even thought about getting a ring doorbell and uploading the video showing me doing school drop off/pick ups etc, anything to stop this and my ex wife's lies.

I have also found a very good solicitor who is now going to write to my ex, in the first instance, about child arrangements and if she will not accept terms then we going for a court order.

Reply
1 Reply
Registered
(@levi007)
Joined: 2 years ago

New Member
Posts: 1

@carmad hi, do you mind sharing the details of your solicitor? Did they manage to resolve it for you?

Reply
Posts: 4
Registered
(@flint1812)
Active Member
Joined: 3 years ago
  • Hi has anyone progressed to tribunal ? I have mine next week and I’m so worried I will lose . CSA want £68 a week for mother I have 50/50 with . I also pay £277 for a child I have no access to . This will utterly cripple me . I am not off sick from work as I am on the verge of a mental break down . I don’t know where I’ll get the money from to continue paying for my sons ju jitsu and swimming lessons and also for petrol for all the pick ups and drop offs I do . 28 mile trip almost every day . It’s even more galling when I have a CAFCASS report that states mother struggled with day to day care which is the reason I was rewarded 50/50 which almost led to me having full custody . I am broken. 
Reply
Posts: 1
Registered
(@philiptrimbot-co-uk)
New Member
Joined: 12 months ago

If you have a court order saying equal care the both parent do not have more or less day-to-day care of the child then "Special Cases" is applied under "The special Cases in The Child Support Maintenance Calculation Regulation 2012, Chapter 4, Clause 50" https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2012/2677/regulation/50/made

CMS are misunderstanding the regulations as they apply the following clause out of context as follows: "Clause 50 (3) Where the applicant is receiving child benefit in respect of the qualifying child the applicant is assumed, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, to be providing day to day care to a greater extent than any other person."

CMS make the assumption that if someone receives Child Benefit they are referred to a the "Primary Carer" or "Receiving Parent". They ignore the rest of the sentence that says " to be providing day to day care to a greater extent than any other person." which is not correct. I have spoken to CMS and explained this and they agree that I am correct and they claim this will be addressed and raised. The man I spoke too was called Joff (Team Leader) who was very understanding on the 7-Feb-2024 @ 11:10 whom confirmed this will be addressed and raised. I should point out that the term "Primary Carer" has not existed in the family courts for over 10 years. However, my hope is this will be addressed and people will not find themselves in the same position.

However, I have found on this website this has been happening for some time and nothing has changed so my intension is contact my local MP as they are not following the regulations correctly and it needs to be addressed.

 

Reply
Page 5 / 6
Share:

Pin It on Pinterest