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I had a falling out with my eldest son of 15, six months ago.He has now decided that he no longer wants to see me. I still see my youngest son of 12. We had an argument over something that no one can remember today. I have tried everything possible to contact him so that we can discuss the problem and move forward. His mother has told me that she does not want to get involved. So I am at a loss as how to contact him, phone, email etc has not worked, nor posted letters. His mother has constantly drip fed my two sons bad things about me which are total lies. I am still paying my maintenance for them both, but the mother says I should pay more as he is at home more now instead of seeing me every two weeks, and one evening every other week. I am at a loss what to do. Can anyone advise me what I can do next?
Hi There,
.
With your ex not wanting to get involved and your son at 15, it's going to be difficult, at 15 the courts would say your son is old enough to have a say in whether he sees you, you have tried all of the normal ways with letters and emails ect without your ex's help the only thing I can think of is maybe a family memeber from your side contacting him, or if you still get on with anyone from your ex's side maybe they could help.
.
If you could at least get him talking with someone else then they may hopefully be able to set up a time when you could speak with him and try and put the past behind you.
.
GTTS
Hello Kram
With regards to contact with your son, as previously mentioned, you could consider using a family member or mutual friend to act as a mediator for you. You could also use a professional mediator if you wish. You can find more information about that here, http://www.nfm.org.uk.
From a maintenance point of view, the amount of overnight stays should be taken into account when calculating maintenance. So if this has changed, it could affect the amount you pay. This depends on which type of arrangement you have in place. If you have a family-based arrangement, there are no set rules for you to follow. The arrangement can include anything that you both agree to. If it is a statutory arrangement, one of you should contact the organisation who set up your arrangement to inform them of a change in circumstances. This would be either the Child Support Agency (CSA), https://www2.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/setup/apply-by-telephone.asp, or the Child Maintenance Service, http://www.Gov.uk.
If you would like information about the different ways that maintenance arrangements can be set up and to receive a more personalised service, you can contact Child Maintenance Options directly, http://www.cmoptions.org
The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a web application, ‘Sorting out separation’. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation
Regards
William
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