Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Let me give you a little back story first before anything else.
Back in 2010 I was working 16 hour days in order to pay the bills and mortgage and my then wife wasn't working at all. We have two children and were going through a bad patch and she wanted to split up. I wanted to stay as I thought it was better for the kids. Anyway, I was walking home from work one night about 1:30am and a car pulled up next to me and two men got out and hit me over the head, I was then put into a car and taken to a garage when I was cable tied to a chair and beaten until about 7am and then dumped near to the family home. When I walked in she was in the kitchen and I was covered in blood but the didn't bat an eyelid. Luckily the kids were not up so didn't see me like that. A week later she locked me out and moved a bloke straight in.
I ended up homeless, I took an overdose, lost my job because of that and ended up with nothing. I was homeless for 9 months.
In the divorce I signed over the house that was mostly paid off which was worth about £200,000 and the contents. I got four bin bags of clothes.
I was then diagnosed with depression, generalised anxiety disorder, emotionally unstable personality disorder and post traumatic stress disorder. I also now have really bad arthritis because of having to sleep rough over that winter and attempted suicide a further two times.
I was unable to work and we had a verbal agreement that she wouldn't claim maintenence as I'd given her everything. Then I got I got a letter from the CSA. I filled it out and they wrote back saying she couldn't get anything.
I'm now better and wanting to go back to work but she's threatening me with the CSA again. Should I pay or have I given her enough already?
hi,
wow thats a shocking story. am afraid if you do go back to work, theres nothing stopping her from opening a new CMS claim, and you will have to pay.
how come you signed over entire house, was it not possible to do 50/50 split or something similar?
It's because I had a breakdown because of everything that happened. I didn't want anything to do with the house, the bank balance or anything else. I signed absolutely everything over to her. If my mental health had been better I wouldn't have done it but her solicitor caught me at my worst time.
Like I said, I came away with no money and only four bin bags of clothes.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.