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I have my 4 year old son every monday night (stay over), wednesday night (stay over), friday night (stay over) and all day saturday. I pay 200 month child maintenance and i also pay for clothes for him being at my house, food ect. so in theory i have joint custody as he has two homes but nothing in writing.
Am i meant to be paying child maintenance regardless of how much i have my son? also how would i go about getting a written agrrement of contact as the ex wife throws in my face she will stop me seeing him and i have no rights ect so i have to do as she says. she is volitile and will use my son as a weapon no matter how much it hurts him. it kills me and if i could have custody i would but i know mothers are always favoured. i need advice and help as i feel i have no rights at all and if i say anything i will lose my child. She has been with her partner for 2.5 years and still tried to upset my partner and cause a void which doesnt work. im at my wits end 🙁
Hi there
Do you pay through the CSA or do you have a private arrangement?
Have you used the CSA calculator to work out how much you should be paying?
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
For every night the child stays you are entitled to 1/7th reduction of the weekly amount, so three nights would be a reduction of 3/7ths.
Any extra over and above the amount you should be paying is purely discretionary, but many dads have to supply clothes for when their child is with them, as for the food when he is with you, again that is par for the course.
Hello Hbee123
If you have a family-based arrangement in place you may wish to try to discuss and negotiate your maintenance payments with your ex-wife. Family-based arrangements are not legally enforceable and there are no strict rules or formulas to follow when calculating child maintenance. Therefore, parents can decide the terms of their agreement to suit their current circumstances.
The Child Maintenance Options website has a useful tools and guides section that you and the other parent may find helpful when trying to negotiate your family-based arrangement. This can be found at http://www.cmoptions.org.
If you have an application with the Child Maintenance Service you may wish to contact them directly to discuss your concerns regarding your payments. You will find their details on any letters they have sent you or on Gov.uk at https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance.
I have included a link on how the Child Maintenance Service calculates child maintenance that you may find useful, https://www.gov.uk/how-child-maintenance-is-worked-out/how-the-child-maintenance-service-works-out-child-maintenance.
If you have a Consent Order/Minute of Agreement in place you may wish to see what is stipulated within your agreement regarding your concerns with your payments. Alternatively, you may wish to seek legal advice.
You may also wish to seek legal advice as to where you stand regarding getting a written agreement for contact with your son. We are not experts in contact issues, however, I can provide contact details for organisations that you may find useful. The following organisations are for people who live in England, if you do not live in England the contact details may differ.
Centre for Separated Families provides advice and support to parents and other people experiencing family separation. Website: http://www.separatedfamilies.info.
Families Need Fathers provides information for parents and also runs local open support meetings. Telephone Number: 0300 0300 363. Opening times: 7am-Midnight, 7 days a week. Website: http://www.fnf.org.uk.
Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) provides free information and advice on topics such as legal, housing and debt. Please check website to make sure this number is correct for your area. Some local CAB's still retain their own telephone number. To find your local CAB, look in the phone book or click on 'Find your local CAB' on the website. Advice Line (England): 0844 411 1444. Advice Line (Wales): 0844 477 2020. Website: http://www.adviceguide.org.uk.
For more information on the different ways to set up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website.
The DWP have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. There is also a legal section on the web-app that you may find helpful. The link is: www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.
Regards
William
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