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You could try offering her maintenance for the kids in writing. That will establish you have been trying to do the right thing and she's the one being obstructive. Courts don't judge the amount of maintenance you do or don't pay when coming to a decision on the sharing of a child's time between separated parents - this isn't 'pay-per-view', which some mothers seem to believe is the case. The court's main focus is the benefit to the child of having both parents engaged in their care and upbringing.
Your ex may make a claim for maintenance eventually, but she'll be wrong if she thinks she can backdate it whenever she does, and try to sting you for a fat lump sum - she will only be able to make a claim starting from the date she makes the application, so you also have the option of doing nothing and waiting for her either to accept the maintenance, or put in a claim.
More worrying is the intrusion and limitations in the time you spend with your kids, which sounds like you may need to be more proactive in addressing by getting the mediation ball rolling.
With regards to child maintenance, I'd really follow the advice above and open a case with CMS yourself - that way you have proof that you have been trying to pay, and if she won't accept the money, then you have that also from them, in which case, put the money into savings for when they are older.
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