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Broken up with my ex 4 years. Since then she won't accept any money from me. I've tried in the past and have given her money when we were together. A couple of times she got abusive to me and was looking for a reaction and then started complaining to her father that I wasn't paying her. But still when I try she won't take it. It's like she's playing a game with me and making me out to be a bad father. She won't let me take the kids and when I do visit she usually sits in the same room and I'm limited to games I can play with my kids, so stressful. Now she keeps coming up with [censored] excuses for the last month and have not seen them. If this goes to court how can I prove I'm pulling my bit but she won't let me ?
Why wont she accept the money? If you do pay child maintenance, I would suggest only doing a bank transfer so there is proof. My ex told the child maintenance she wanted me to pay cash, drop it in letter bit, i said no because she can just pretend I didnt give it her.
It seems odd that she is happy for you to see the child but not accept any money?? I wish my ex didnt want any money off me!
Maybe you should contact the CMS yourself and try to set up payments via them? I wouldn't recommend handing over cash, even if she changed her mind, as the burden of proof that you gave her any money at all would like squarely on you. Alternatively, I'd say put maintenance money aside in a separate so you've got a head start for whenever she does spring a claim.
From the limitations being place on your relationship with your kids, it sounds like you don't have a court order in place. If you wish to pursue this, you would first have to set up mediation with her discuss making more reasonable arrangements. If you are not able to reach agreement, you should then be able to make an application to court.
Hi very sorry to have to say this but I think she just wants you out of the picture that’s why she is making it so hard for you you sound like a caring dad who is bothered about his children you do need to get the ball rolling with court and the cms for your children sake I don’t think it’s your fault you have obviously been trying to be decent but you need to be tougher from now on lol
hi john,
this is weird. either you can leave her alone, and wait for her to one day surprise you with a CMS claim. or you can pay £20 and register yourself to CMS and sort it out. if you go to court for child arrangements, Maintenance payments is separate issue. courts frown upon dads that don't pay child support. but you been trying to pay anyhow.
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