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Hi All,
I have recently obtained a court order that states that "The parties have agreed that the children will live with both of them in the following shared care arrangement" and I need some help understanding what this means in terms of the child maintenance payments and would appreciated some help!
I've always had the children 3 nights per week. My ex doesn't work and claims benefits, I work full-time and always have done. Up until now, I've always dropped the children off with her in the mornings and she's taken them to school. She would always collect and drop back to me in the evening. However, she was always changing the nights and I wanted the nights that we have the children to be documented so that the children could have a routine. In return for doing the pick-ups and drop-offs to school, I have been paying for swimming lessons, dancing lessons and football club for both our children. I have also been taking them to all these clubs.
I'm very grateful to have finally got routine for my children however, in order to obtain this, I had to agree to arranging childcare if it was required in the 48 hours that I have them mid-week. I told my ex that if I had to pay for childcare, I would not be able to afford to take them to the clubs and she said "well they'll just have to go without!". This response made me sick to my stomach as all I wanted was routine for my children and instead, she's made it about money!
My position is now that unless I can reduce my child maintenance payments, I'm going to have to cancel all my children's clubs and I don't know how I'm going to tell them! I will be having the children for 162 nights (or there about) every year with works out to be 44% of the time. The court order states "The parties have agreed that the children will live with both of them in the following shared care arrangement". I will soon be paying £120 per month for child care and have £350 per month child care costs on top of that. I buy them clothes, food, shoes, school uniform, books etc on top of this. I also have to pay bills, mortgage etc on top of this. I earn around £790 per week after pension deductions. I've tried using online calculators as well as working it out myself and I can't get it below £350 per month! Can someone please help?! The clubs currently cost me £170 per month in total however if I could get it down by £150, I would be able to afford everything - JUST!
Any help would be much appreciated!
I would go through the child maintenance calculator to work out the correct maintenance you will need to pay. This amount covers everything while your children are in her care, so you would need to come to an agreement with her to split the costs of clothing, clubs etc - normally it would come out of the maintenance, but you have the children a fair proportion of the time, so it is reasonable that you pay a proportion of these costs, but not all of them, if that is what is happening at the moment.
I have used the calculator and it comes out just below £350. However, it was £350 when the children stayed with me 3 nights and I returned them to their mother in the morning. I now take them to childcare 2 mornings and an afternoon per week, still 3 nights but now have whole days now too. It doesn’t seem right that if I now have responsibility for 3 whole days (when previously it was just 3 nights) that I should have to pay the same amount?
Oh and I currently pay, all uniforms, clothes when they’re at mine (although she often needs extra money for clothes, which I give her), she doesn’t contribute to clubs and she has no interest in education so I buy all their books, stuff for school. I even bought her some school photos last year as the kids were upset because she told them “I see you everyday why do I need photos?”.
It seems you're caught between a rock and a hard place as your liability doesn't factor in the extra things you are paying for & if the mother isn't prepared to share the cost, it is going to mean that the kids miss out. If she's on benefits, then surely some of the childcare costs should be able to be met by that status?
Hello JohnD1975
Many factors are taken into account when calculating child maintenance and the shared care you have of your children is a large factor of your agreement with your ex-partner. It does sound like the arrangement that you have in place is a family-based arrangement, many parents do now choose to sort out their maintenance between themselves as it can be the quickest and easiest way of setting up a maintenance agreement.
Although family-based arrangements are not legally binding, they are very flexible and can be easily changed. As you have no strict rules to follow, it is up to you and your ex-partner to decide what you would like to include in your agreement.
If you are not happy with your current arrangement, you can try and negotiate with your ex-partner and come to a more reasonable amount that you are both happy with. You can also incorporate the extra expenses for your children's after school activities into your agreement.
Child Maintenance Options can help you with an estimated calculation and can also provide you with some supporting tools on their website at https://www.cmoptions.org, to help you with your negotiations.
Their Talking About Money Guide and Discussion Guide are full of information about how you can plan your conversation with your ex-partner and how to negotiate your agreement. They also point out the financial costs involved in raising a child and can give you both new ideas about what can be included in your agreement.
Once you have decided what you would like to include in your agreement, you can record this on their Family-based Arrangement Form. Although it is not a legally binding document it can put your agreement on a more formal basis. You can also agree a renewal date for your agreement in case either of you have another change of circumstances in the future.
If you find you are not able to renegotiate your family-based arrangement you may wish to consider making an application to the Child Maintenance Service. They are the Government’s statutory maintenance service and can either calculate your child maintenance, then leave you to arrange payments between yourselves, or they can collect payments and pass them on for you.
If you decide to ask the Child Maintenance Service to arrange your child maintenance for you in the future, your responsibility to pay will start from around the point that your ex-partner is contacted by them, not from when you first make your application.
For further information about putting in place a statutory arrangement and the fees involved with this, you will need to contact Child Maintenance Options directly and all their contact details can be found on their website.
You may also be interested to know the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a new web application, 'Sorting out Separation'. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is www.cmoptions.org/en/sortingoutseparation/index.asp.
For more information and for a more personalised service, you may wish to visit the Child Maintenance Options website yourself.
Regards
William
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