[Solved] Seeing my child.

Hello and welcome.

Do you have PR? did you sign the birth certificate?

TBH at 4 months if you're getting a day a week, presumably a full day its not that bad. You'll be hard pushed to get a full weekend and usually that becomes every other weekend not each weekend. If you're working etc

I'd be asking to see mid week for an hour or two even if its walking around the local park seeing as the summer is looming and the day at the weekend.

She'll be able to call the shots to a degree because the child is dependant on her more so than you right now, this does change over time.

Imagine a slightly older child and you both work full time, every other full weekend with a visit midweek is fairly stable and settled.

Solicitors have no power, remember this, they are legal advisors, and the law is somewhat ambiguous at the best of times, family law even more so.

I think there is a reason "whores" are described as "soliciting"....they are always paid for a service and for the most part to give you what you want.

If you went to see the same solicitor (you cant now by the way) they'd probably advise you that you have "equal rights" that its gender neutral and whatnot.

The standard by which most are starting from and by the way it isnt actually a standard just accepted by most courts dependant on lack of other circumstances such as DV etc etc is a midweek overnight/visit and every other weekend. remember when shes working full-time she'll be dropping at childminders and what not and will only really get the weekend too but the majority of the hassle of being a parent midweek. If she doesnt intend to return to work etc theres MORE of an argument for each weekend if you work and she doesnt.

Basically it has to be measured and progress toward the above "standard", I was condemned for offering a timetable, like can we start overnights by april that I was scheduling a childs life which is nonesense and simply solicitors jumping on anything - a judge is likley to do that.

Anyway, with the "standard" in mind, be measured and aim to progress towards it. Dont lay things out just yet or start saying "this is the standard" as it wont get you anywhere and court is a lengthy arduous process. Id be requesting a mid week visit even if short and then a weekend day at four months. Maybe request a second weekend day every other week?

Like

Wednesday 5-630pm
Saturday 10-5

Wednesday 5-630pm
Saturday 10-5
Sunday 10-12

When settled gradually increase the sunday by an hour or so until it can become every other weekend.

Yes I do have PR. Signed the birth certificate.

OK......

Hi there

Because of the age of your son many will see the mother as his main carer unfortunately, even though you are named on his birth certificate and have PR.

I'm assuming that as you have him for a full day, that he is being bottle fed is that right?

It's much better to try and keep a good working relationship with the mother and to try and sort this out without court getting involved. With that in mind in might be helpful to try mediation to discuss how to move forward and to work on a parenting plan, which will include giving some thought into how the schedule of contact should work and how to increase it as your son gets older.

There's a sticky about the CAFCASS Parenting Plan in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section, with a template to download. It might be a good idea to print off a couple of copies and give one to your ex to work on, this is something that the mediator could help you both with if you are unable to reach agreement.

Good luck