[Solved] Scared and Struggling

As a rule of thumb it's 16% of your wages. And here's the kicker csa work it out before deductions (tax NI pension ECT)

So it's a start that when you get paid just work out the 16%.

It's what I have been doing as I was advised it was the best way. If it goes through csa or cms. They will do it automatically before you even see your money. But they also charge a fee. So in a mutual agreement we have set it at 16% plus I pay towards other things.

But I don't know the relationship between you and your ex if it's amicable then you can come to the agreement without needing an outside source then it's better.

But this money goes towards them when they are not with you. You will have to sort it out for yourself when they are with you.

The csa calculation works on this figure but also takes into account howw long and when they stay with you. You will have to speak to your ex and see if she can agree on it.

Thank you Rich,,

Thanks for taking time to offer some info, that's made me perk up a bit just with that little bit of info... yeah Its amicable to a degree am sure we will find find a way that will be best for the kids and an I'm looking to get an agreement be put in place so be both know whats what. I take on what you said and thanks again.

Oh and always pay through your bank. Resist cash. It's easy to say it never happens without paper proof. Just the way I do it as I'm paranoid she will say I didn't give them a penny. I'm still sorting all this out with my ex so it's still a long road.

For the agreement you could get the csa to write one up. If you contact them first it will work for you. Don't let it get to the stage where your ex will do it. They have the means to make it all above board and properly done.

You are lucky that it's amicable. Mine however is just starting to turn nasty. And I'm going to struggle.

But as I'm sure everyone will say always make time for the kids and never let anything thhaat happens with your ex make its way to them. They need parents not arguments.

Hi,

I agree with you that it is daunting, when I first split up with my ex I wondered how I would be able to afford the basics! But after 6 years separated and moving back to my parents house, I now own a house with a new partner who is great.

In terms of finance, you have come to the right place to ask questions... The rules are very confusing, but once you get your head round them, it always good to know so you are prepared for what is coming.

Now before we start it is always better to not get the CMS involved, they are extremely difficult to deal with. I would recommend the following:

- Sign yourself up for a governement gateway tax account so you can see you annual earnings that the HMRC see.
- Once setup, get your annual earnings figure for 2018/2019 (year that ends March 2019)
- Make sure you take the figure before any tax or NI has been taken off
- This is your golden figure that you need to work from.
- Work out 19% of this figure and divide by 12. This is worst case what you are legally required to pay your ex per month.
- There will be discounts for the amount of nights stayed etc.
One complication to this. CMS use a 25% rule, payments will only change if your current income (previous 12 weeks) is higher or lower by 25% or more.

I would use the CMS calculator, at the below link. you will need your weekly figure to do this. (Easily worked out by dividing your annual figure by 52). On here you can put overnights etc.

PENSION CONTRIBUTIONS ARE TAKEN OUT OF YOUR EARNINGS. THEY ARE NOT INCLUDED IN THE CALCULATION THAT THE CMS USE.

https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

PM me if you want any more information.

YODA,

Thank you for all that I really appreciate all this help. I can sit down and go through that all and try and work out the best for the kids using this. Slowly but surly Ill get through the mine field.

Thanks.

Rich,

Sorry to hear that I hope things improve for your situation. Its [censored] horrible and I'm finding that nothing sets you up or prepares you for any of this. Im just so glad I found this site.

Your very welcome. Its daunting, but everything will work out fine in the end.

Any questions shout, and once again, try your best to not get the CMS involved.

I would disagree to some extent - CMS are good if yours is a simple case, and it stops there being any doubt about whether you are paying or not (if you don't use them, you must pay be bank transfer and quote "child maintenance" so it's clear what the payment is for). It costs £20 to open a case, and that's all they charge - you definitely want a CMS case if there's a possibilty that you could have child maintenance settled by the courts.

ACTD,

Right I understand,, so better to be proactive with CMS if things turned for the worst later on down the line. but if an agreement is drawn up would that be taken into consideration by them.. I only ask as I had tried to work it all out before ,,, and wasn't to far away but once she had gone to a solicitor, she came back with " that's not a true figure" and maybe so but I was only trying to do the right thing and have something to offer. So yeah I get what your saying .. be pro active with this.

Thanks again.

I'm only talking from experience. I find them very difficult to deal with. I lost my job a few years ago, and they were not very sympathetic, would not even accept my P45 as proof that I had left! I find that if you get a woman on the phone they are much more difficult than the men.

If your ex has gone to a solicitor, then it is likely that they will advise them to open a case with the CMS. So just be prepared.

The advantage of you opening a case with CMS (£20 to do this) is that you can close the case later on when you think you should no longer be paying - if the mother opens the case, then she has to agree to close it. The reason I said to use CMS instead of court is that any agreement reached over maintenance in court (except in certain limited circumstances) and be overridden after 12 months by CMS, so if you've paid more than CMS suggest in the first 12 months, you don't get that back. The courts are usually happy to abide by CMS calculations for child maintenance. This isn't taking away from what Yoda94 has said about them being difficult to deal with, but if yours is fairly straightforward, then CMS certainly makes things formal and easy to manage.