Hi, I've got a bit of a situation here and would welcome thoughts and opinions. Just typing it out is going to help me process it, so please bear with me:
Single dad of two boys, 14 and 10. I have my kids 2 consecutive overnights on one week, and 3 consecutive overnights on the second week. (Sat/Sun, then Sat/Sun/Mon). This is as agreed in the child access agreement when we divorced 7 years ago.
I pay maintenance in line with the CMS calculator. I also pay additional amounts for things like school uniform, school trips etc.
Ex has now requested I throw in an additional overnight on Thursdays because she wants to work that evening. Further, she "cannot afford" for me to reduce my maintenance payments although I will have an additional overnight.
I have said no because I have existing work commitments on Thursdays which I can't just magically make go away. If I don't work Thursday afternoons, I can't really do my job properly and will have to catch up evenings/weekends.
I have offered an extra Friday so care remains continuous but this was declined.
Ex is now on the warpath re: Thursdays.
My assumption is:
1. I am allowed to simply say no to this request
2. Ex can go to court to try and vary the child access agreement, but this would be upheld only if the courts felt it was in the children's best interests.
Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Stressing me out a bit to be honest, I'm not good with conflict but I'm going to have to learn.
I presume that you have a child access order for the existing nights. However, even if your ex goes back to vary this order, the whole purpose of the order is that she must make your children available to you on those days, it is not an order that compels you to have them, so she would be wasting her (and court time) going back to court, so basically you can say no - she can't change the existing arrangements to suit her, and expect you to simply conform to what she demands.
However, it would still be best if yuo can come to some arrangment that will satisfy both of you, though it does sound like that will be tricky.