Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Do I have to pay my ex-wife anything if I get a redundancy payment? I should get just over £5k (so not mega bucks). I'm 40 (well nearly) have no assets and I mean nothing. I have 2 children with my new partner, who has asked me to leave. I can't even begin to contemplate what will happen if I have to leave the home I'm in now. I would find it incredibly painful to leave my 2 girls (after leaving the 2 from my first marriage).
I've always paid £546 p/m maintenance every month without fail - much to the annoyance of my new partner.
My ex-wife could not care less about my situation and is still asking that I pay around £800.00.
I was very depressed / suicidal when I divorced and was advised by a member of my church not to have any legal representation and I left her the family home, car children and everything apart from my motorbike (which I later had to sell).
So this 5K has to last me and my new family (while I still have it) for as long as it takes me to find another job.
I just don't know where to turn and honestly scared about how I'm going to manage going forwards.
ANY advice or even a friendly ear would be gratefully appreciated.
Hi there
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling, I hope you manage to sort something out with your new partner.
Unfortunately, she may be entitled to some of your redundancy, unless you obtained a clean break order when you got diviorced, she may be able to make a claim. I'm no expert mind smit would definitely be a good idea to seek legal advice, some solicitors offer a free initial consultation. Alternatively, the CAB might be able to advise you on what the situation is.
Have you checked how much maintenance you should be paying? Here's a link to the CMS calculator
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
Whilst you are out of work, you aren't required to pay maintenance, if you sign at the job centre, this would be proof enough that you cannot pay at the moment.
I'm sure the church member was well meaning, but it's always wise to find out what your legal position is, as painful as that might be.
All th best
Hello John8on
It does sound like you are having a stressful time at the moment both emotionally and with losing your employment. There are lots of organisations that can offer you some help and support through this difficult time and your local GP may be someone that you may also wish to speak to first about how you are feeling.
You can also find contacts of helpful organisations on the Child Maintenance Options website or in the back of their leaflet called Information for parents living apart from their child, which you can view or download from their website.
Child maintenance is calculated using the gross income of a paying parent so as Mojo has suggested if you do not have any taxable income, due to unemployment, you may not be asked to continue paying the same amount of maintenance as you previously were while you were working.
If you claim any benefits after your redundancy then your maintenance payments may be set at up to £7.00 per week and this would be divided equally between all your four of your children if you find that you are in a position where that is a requirement.
When a paying parent pays maintenance for more than one child to different receiving parents, the Child Maintenance Service will work out the total amount payable for all children involved. This is then divided equally so that the same amount is paid for each child.
If you have a statutory scheme arrangement for your maintenance agreement, with either the Child Support Agency (CSA) or the Child Maintenance Service, you will need to inform them of your redundancy and they may recalculate your maintenance payments based on your current circumstances. They will also be able to inform you whether any redundancy money you may receive would be included in your payments through them.
They also have a leaflet which may help you called, How we work out child maintenance and the following link will direct you to that leaflet https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/325219/how-we-work-out-child-maintenance.pdf.
If you have a family-based arrangement in place, as this type of agreement is not legally binding, you do not have any strict rules or formulas to stick too and it is up to you and the receiving parent to decide what is included in your agreement.
Many parents choose to sort out their maintenance between themselves as it can be the quickest and easiest way of setting up a maintenance agreement and they are very flexible and can be easily changed so now you have had a change in circumstances your agreement can be adapted to incorporate this change and reflect your new income.
If you do feel like you would need some support speaking to the receiving parent, Child Maintenance Options have some supporting tools on their website at https://www.cmoptions.org that may help you come to an agreement about your maintenance payments.
You may also be interested to know the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a website, 'Sorting out Separation'. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is http://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/
For more information and for a more personalised service, you may wish to visit the Child Maintenance Options website yourself.
Regards
William
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.