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Long story short, my ex wants me to give her my weekly contribution towards our son in cash rather than pay it into her account since "you're just paying into money I owe that is over my overdraft, so I don't actually see the money".
My concern is she will turn round and say I never gave it her on x, y or z occasion, and I will have no history of these occasions on bank statements. Where do I stand with this?
Hi CJH,
Well you could do what I do which is to pay into the childs account and it is entirely up to her how she deals with it. My ex has some sense where she will save that money towards his future. But then.. Thats her words. Atleast for you... You can say that paying into her account you wont as per her request.. instead pay into the childs account 🙂
I hope that helps a little. Works for me so I do not see why it should work for you. Just ensure you keep it professional.
Good luck!
I would only pay it into her account, clearly marked "child maintenance for " - anything else, and you risk her going to the CMS and claiming that you haven't paid maintenance. I'm afraid that includes paying into a child's account - they will say that it's not maintenance if your ex tells them it's not (AD - beware of this, it depends on how much you trust your ex - it'd better to pay your ex directly and let her put it into the child's account).
Worst case, if you don't do this, and CMS are slow in contacting you is that you could find you have arrears for the period you have already been paying to her.
Hello CJH
If you have a family-based arrangement in place you and the other parent can discuss and negotiate how your payments are made. Although family-based arrangements are not legally enforceable, parents can decide the terms of their agreement to suit their current circumstances, as there are no strict rules or formulas to follow.
The Child Maintenance Options website has a useful tools and guides section that you and the other parent may find helpful when trying to negotiate your family-based arrangement. This can be found at http://www.cmoptions.org.
If you have a case with the Government’s statutory scheme you may wish to contact them directly to discuss any concerns you may have regarding your payments. You will find their details on any letters they have sent you or on Gov.uk at https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance.
For more information on all the different ways to set up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website.
The DWP have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.
Regards
William
Don't trust her not to do you over if you pay cash. Her overdraft is her problem - not yours
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