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Im sorry if this turns into a long post but I have reached my limit and really need help. I don't know where to turn.
Me and the ex split up in 2013 at xmas time. I walked out with a bag of clothes and nowhere to go which im sure is a common story. I suffered with depression for the coming years as I never wanted my marriage to end.
A work colleague took me in while I could get back on my feet to which I am ever grateful. I worked stupid hours to gain the finances needed to start up again with a place to stay, transport etc.... It must be noted that me and the ex had an agreement of £250 per month for my son agreed which was never missed and I took over various other financial responsibilities to make things easier for my family.
My ex after a year became greedy and had a complete hatred for me for some reason. Contact with my boy became harder and harder and things kept getting worse. She got the CMS involved and I can easily say this has been the worst thing to happen to me in my life.
They used the calculations from when I was working all hours god sent to get back on my feet and at one point I was paying £625 per month which was totally unsustainable for me.
They kept pushing and pushing and my mental health grew worse and worse and contact with my boy came to a grinding halt. Eventually the line snapped and I lost my good job. All the while she was laughing at me on social media, showing off the 4 dresses bought for nights out and rubbing in the 4 hols per year courtesy of yours truly.
After I lost my job I got signed on which dropped my payments to some ridiculously low amount. I wasn't happy and went self employed. As soon as I came off Jobseekers, Boom!, they used the massive wage I had earned a few years previously to calculate my payments, £625 per month. I wasnt even earning half this as a new start up!
It didn't matter how many times I appealed or kicked up fuss, this has stayed the same till this day. I now have about 7k of arrears.
I am a Gas Engineer and part of that is renewing my quals every 5 years. The CMS took the money for these quals out of my bank. I have now lost these and can no longer work as a Gas engineer. I have no quals I can use now and had to stop my business. I don't know any other jobs. Even if I could have my quals back, it would be pointless me working as CMS are requesting now £475 per WEEK!
Basically my life is at a stop. Im 32, live with parents, no job, massive arrears and debts from marriage, no contact with son and suffer with depression. Its time to tackle the CMS but I don't know how or what to do.
I have communicated with them until blue in the face to no avail. I thought these people were supposed to help families not destroy livelihoods and ruin relationships? I was happy paying £250/350 a month!
Communication with the ex is now impossible and she will refuse to close this case.
This is a tough so I'm just going to tell you what I would do.
1.exercise,we need to get your confidence and swagger back,motivation to see your kid and get your money in check.
2.money-once you start getting motivated the next step is to seek legal advice as unlike the cms ,court will look at your pay stubs and give you an accurate amount you should be paying they will always work with you in terms of arrears
3.already you feel better because you know payments will drop to normal level ,keep exercising ,the man inside of you is coming
4.child arrangment order-once job,cms payments level(court ordered amount)then proceed with a c100
5.you no longer have to ask or wonder when you will see your kid and your payments are court orders not cms ordered
6.have a holiday and let me know how you got on man
Hi There,
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It seems odd that CMS have taken your wage from when you were working when you started your own business, when I did the same, they put me on basic level until I had completed 3 months of trade and then they set an amount to pay based off that.
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I would seek some help from your local MP, they have a little more sway when it comes to getting answers from CMS.
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As above though you need to start looking after yourself, making sure you are eating is the most important, when things start getting you down, it's easy to slip further, by not looking after yourself.
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I would also go to your GP and ask them for some help.
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GTTS
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